


The Device

by oldrussiancaptainsteve



Category: TWRP | Tupper Ware Remix Party (Band)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:13:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 33,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27757471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oldrussiancaptainsteve/pseuds/oldrussiancaptainsteve
Summary: TWRP unites for the first time, and journey to find the ultimate treasure: The Device.
Kudos: 2
Collections: TWRP Big Bang 2020





	1. Prelude

"Alright, Sung, it's just a gang of intergalactic criminals and weirdos, it'll be fine! You're the biggest intergalactic weirdo and or criminal there is!"

Doctor Sung sat alone in his spaceship, three empty seats with him in the cockpit. He glanced out into space and saw his reflection in the windshield. He was in a yellow jumpsuit with light armor over it, although the chest piece had a hole in the middle that looked like it was supposed to carry something. He was also missing any headwear. 

The ship's communication device was still beeping. It was locked on to a distress signal coming from a far off-planet. Sung got out of his captain's seat and began walking towards the ship's core.

"Alright, it should have had enough time to reset, c'mon girl..." He sat down in front of a computer in the engine room. The computer was attached to a large crystal that took up most of the room. After a few inputs, the crystal began to light up and cycle through numerous colors.

"C'mon, you've been so good work for me..."

The crystal answered Sung by catapulting his ship through time.

After an eternity that lasted a moment, a spaceship gracefully crashed into a snowy tundra on Earth.

"Fuck, well, we've had worse landings, huh?" Sung patted the wall of his ship. He walked around, noting that there was less damage than he expected. He opened the hull door and looked into a white void of snow. Sung glanced about and confidently took his first steps out onto the planet. 

He immediately fell upside down and sunk headfirst into the snow. After a moment of confusion, he pulled himself out of the snow and looked back at his ship. Sung realized that his ship was upside down in the snow, and the artificial gravity had kept him from recognizing this. 

He rubbed his neck from the recent trauma. "I gotta start wearing that pylon more..." He brushed himself off and checked a monitor on his wrist. It had a countdown and was going to go off soon. Sung began to rush to a nearby cave. Peering into the cave, he realized that he walked to the wrong cave due to a lack of science equipment and a body.

“Well, shit. Hey C, you happen to know where we are?” Sung asked the lack of anyone nearby him. They didn’t answer. 

“Oh yeah. Divorce.” 

Sung trudged back to the ship to get some better directions. After falling back into the ship, realizing he walked in the entirely wrong direction and then falling back out, he made his way towards the correct cave. This time when he walked in, he did see all of his various science equipment. Most of the tables were burdened with the weight of metal and parts that were taken from robots throughout the universe. Some of the other tables were somewhat clearer, littered with various wires and circuit boards. Towards the center of the cave was a table that was clearly used for whatever was the most important work was. It had a contraption that was labeled “Synthesizer” with “Not the music type” scrawled in parentheses below it, and surrounding that were various vials filled with a green liquid that was labeled “Good Juice.” These vials had tubes connected to the most prominent thing in the room, a black and white robot slumped over in a chair.

“Heya Havve! How’re you feelin’ today?” Sung asked the lifeless robot. He began to panic after he didn’t receive any answer.

“Shit, did something come unplugged again?” Sung ran to the robot, and when he got close, a fist shot towards him at incredible speed, barely giving Sung time to duck under it.

“Awww you! Always playin’ your games, trying to kill me and stuff. Love ya, buddy!” Sung said as he backed away out of arms reach. “So lemme ask again, how’re feelin’ today?” 

The robot slowly sat up in its chair, gradually coming to life. As it sat up, every single joint in the robot’s body cracked like they had not been used in a thousand years. With a final sickening crack, its head shot up to face Sung. 

“Alright, gross, remind me to get you some lube next time I’m out." Sung told the body in front of him.

The robot’s pinprick red eyes lit up with a click, focusing on Sung like a sniper. After a moment, he pointed at his huge jagged teeth and then crossed his arms. 

“I know, I know, I’ve been looking for a suitable voicebox all across the universe, but apparently, you are an outdated murderbot." Sung said with the smallest hint of frustration in his voice.

Havve held his arms to make an angle in front of him and then started moving one of them rhythmically in a circle. Each time it moved, something inside the robot ticked.

“No, I’ve tried looking along the timeline too, maybe not as extensively as I would have liked due to the time crystal malfunctioning...”

The robot jumped in his seat slightly, as if getting ready to hear a story.

“It’s not broken!” Sung said, and as he did, the robot threw his arms up and then let them go limp. He didn’t care anymore. “But as I was saying, the information I was able to gather from you, which was not a lot by the way, with all that, I was not able to pinpoint any moment in time that you may have been created.”

The robot’s shoulders slowly went up and down, like he was sighing.

Sung walked cautiously to the robot and put a hand very gently on his shoulder. As much as he could anyway, the robot had very spiky shoulders. “I know it sucks, Havve, but hey, once you’re in enough of a condition to move for a while, you wanna go shopping for some new parts?”

The robot remained motionless and kept staring ahead.

Sung slumped down next to him. “Trust me, I wanted to know more about you too, Havve. Out of my billions of years of existence, you have been one of the most interesting beings I have ever seen.”

Havve turned his head to face Sung and tilted it as if he didn’t understand.

“I mean it! Listen, Hogan, we may not know your past, but that certainly does not mean that we can’t spend our future looking for it!” Sung shot up and put his hands on his hips, feeling like that was a super cool thing to say. “Hey, in fact! I have a uh... friend that we can meet up with that can maybe help us out!” 

Havve shrugged his shoulders. He went back to not caring.

“Glad to know you’re as enthused as I am!” Sung walked back in front of Havve and saw his shoulders move up and down very quickly. He made Havve laugh. “Alright, so, have you absorbed enough of the good juice to fully reanimate your biological components?” 

Havve looked at his hands, a fleshy juxtaposition to the rest of his mechanical body. He still couldn’t feel his fingers and was barely able to move them. He looked up at Sung and shook his head no. 

“Hm. It’s taking longer than I thought it would, which sucks cause I was hoping you would be able to join me for...”

Sung’s wrist monitor started beeping. A hologram flashed from it and showed a swirling vortex with the words “WORMHOLE APPROACHING” flashing over it.

“Shit shit shit. The time crystal is almost busted, and this wormhole is a shortcut that would be a great convenience. If it only has one more shot in it, I can’t come back to get you, let alone get back to the future again. We don’t have enough time or space to load the equipment on to my ship... time... time... Time!” Sung yelled, coming to an insane conclusion. “Havve, I booted all my research on Time Crystals onto your hard drive, correct?” 

Havve nodded yes hesitantly. 

“Good, I need you to do the calculations on overloading a wormhole with Time Crystal radiation while you move as much of the green stuff outside as possible! Ok, go go we only got one shot at this! I’m gonna bring the ship around!” Sung ran outside and left Havve, running countless calculations and probabilities in his computer brain.

Sung fell inside his ship, not fully remembering the artificial gravity, and began yelling instructions.

“Ship increase artificial gravity by 0.0025 percent!”

“Activate starboard jets!”

“Autopilot collision avoidance!”

He did all this while running to the ship’s cargo hold, where a plethora of outlawed technology was being held. Among it all was an orange conical helmet that Sung quickly grabbed and held under his arm.

“Autopilot to 3 meters away from last searched location!”

Sung felt the ship come to life around him. As the ship righted itself, he felt the artificial gravity increase and shift around him to account for the new commands and movement. Then he felt a lurch forward as the ship began speeding to its destination. He was then thrown forward as the ship came to a screeching halt. Sung picked himself up and threw his cone into the captain’s seat, and then ran out the hull door to see Havve waiting patiently in the snow, wires and tubes poking out of his body, and dozens of jars filled with green juice beside him. Where some of the liquid had spilled in the snow, grass began to peek out between the white blanket.

“You figure everything out?” Sung asked.

Havve nodded.

“Ok, you go start punching things into the time crystal in the engine room, I’ll load up! Meet me in the cockpit afterward!” Sung began carrying the jars into the ship and Havve ran past him into the ship. 

After a couple of minutes, Sung finished carrying the jars onboard and placed them neatly onto a tray table that he placed beside one of the chairs in the cockpit. A moment later Havve barged into the cockpit.

“Everything go well?”

Havve stuck out his hand and shook it back and forth.

“Well yeah that’s to be expected, its a time crystal, but is it ready to go?”

Havve gave Sung a thumbs up.

“Sweet, strap in while I get you connected.” 

Havve took a seat and Sung quickly began plugging tubes into jars and began to see the slow drip from them into Havve’s body.

“You took these into account when making the calculations yeah?” Sung asked as plugged the last few tubes in.

Havve just looked at him. 

“Of course you did, I know, I know.” Sung finished plugging Havve into the Good Juice and hurried to his captain’s seat. “Ok quick favor Havve? When we arrive, please stay inside and let me do the talking. I don’t want to scare these guys any more than we’re already going to.”

Havve pretended to look offended.

“Thanks, bud. Ready to see the future?” Sung said as he grabbed his cone.

Havve gave a thumbs up.

“Awesome.” Sung put on his cone and began going at the controls. Soon the ship was hovering above the ground and pointed slightly upwards. Sung grabbed a lever and pushed it forward, and as he did, the ship hurled itself into space.

Sung and Havve were both pushed back in their seats as they rocketed through the solar system. Sung struggled to turn his head to look at Havve. “Alright, so this is probably going to feel really weird for you Havve. You are going to feel the effects of extreme aging and reanimation at the same time, and although those effects should mostly cancel each other out, except for the further healing you need, I assume it will feel really fucked up.”

Havve gestured to himself. 

“Yeah guess a little more fucked-up-edness won’t hurt anything. Now the wormhole should be opening right between the planet with rings and the one with a funny name.”

Almost as if on cue, Sung and Havve saw a flash of green in the distance.

“Shit we’re a little behind schedule, but we should be fine if we just pick up some speed...”

The ship flashed a graphic onto the windshield that read [WORMHOLE CLOSURE IMMINENT IN T-MINUS 5]

“I was hoping it wouldn’t have to come to this... Havve! Prepare yourself for Ludicrous Speed!”

Havve and Sung both made sure to buckle up even more than they were, and Sung activated Ludicrous Speed.

In the next instant, the wormhole closed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Across the universe, a confrontation was taking place.

On an asteroid, there were the remains of two ships, both of which sustained heavy damage from each other. Two figures were emerging from their ships, one holding a sword that seemed to glow with righteousness, the other seemingly unarmed. They were slowly approaching each other. Behind them, a planet burned in chaos. 

The figure with the sword looked much better off than the other. His outfit was a clean red jumpsuit, along with some shiny gold armor that included a jetpack and helmet. It all looked very ceremonial. His face wasn’t visible behind the visor of his helmet. He pointed his sword at the other figure. They were considerably not as well off as the swordsman. They were in some common clothes, a vest, pants, and for some reason a loincloth, as well some light armor that didn’t really seem to serve any purpose besides showing off. While the swordsman had no visible facial features, the other figure quite noticeably had the face and mane of a lion, although it was a lion that had not showered in a few weeks. The two figures were gradually drawn to one another.

“Criminal scum! As the sole survivor of the cataclysm that you have brought, I, Lord Phobos shall strike you down!”

“Hey, dude listen, I may or may not have brought some very suspicious, possibly illegal substances down to the surface of that planet, but I absolutely did not cause that-” He gestured wildly at the burning hellscape behind him “-to happen! So it’d be real nice of you to put down that sword, and we can figure out a way off this rock.” 

Phobos kept his sword raised. “I doubt what you say is true Meouch, you are a notorious criminal after all. Even if it was, you are still the one who brought the doom to my planet.”

There was a pause.

“It’s uh, Commander Meouch.”

Phobos lowered his sword slightly. “...what?”

Meouch continued.”It’s my title y’know? Sounds kinda cool, like how’re a prince or whatever right?”

Phobos raised his sword once again. “Lord.”

They were close now, although Meouch stayed careful to stay out of reach of the sword.

“Ok ok, I apologize my lord. But hey! I know ships! We both have some broken ones, help me help you out!” Meouch said.

“I am confident in my abilities to fix my own ship, and then destroying yours completely.” Phobos edged closer with his sword, and Meouch backed away.

“Ok alright, how about we just talk yeah? Here here!” Meouch reached into his vest and pulled out a pistol. He made a show of pulling it slowly out by the barrel and then threw it away.

“This does not change anything but you receiving a sooner death.” Phobos continued forward and Meouch scrambled backwards.

“C’mon I thought you’d throw your sword away!” Meouch yelled. 

“Then you have desperately misunderstood your situation.”

“Alright C’mon man! I have enough problems already!”

“Then you will not have to worry much longer.”

“Please please! I’m beggin’ you here!” Meouch clasped his hands together.

Phobos continued to advance, sword drawn.

“Goddamn it...” Meouch muttered.

Suddenly in the distance, space tore itself open.

“What the fuck is that?!?” Meouch yelled.

Phobos stumbled backwards in shocked silence.

A spaceship roared out of the tear and went screaming past the asteroid that Phobos and Meouch were on.

“Fuck, that better not be one of my guys...” Meouch mumbled.

Phobos regained his composure, and was sneaking towards Meouch when the spaceship did a flip and turned back around. 

‘SHIT!” Meouch began scrambling towards the remains of his ship, leaving Phobos with his sword over his head.

The spaceship began its landing process on the asteroid, while Phobos watched Meouch fiddle with controls in his ship, seemingly forgetting that he was there. The ship landed, and the hull door opened, and outwalked a short man in a yellow jumpsuit and a weird orange cone. From his ship, Meouch yelled “FUCK OFF TO HELL!!!” right before pressing a button, causing both laser cannons on his ship to malfunction and explode. A moment passed before a significantly more annoyed voice yelled “FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.” and soon, Meouch reemerged from his ship.

The three beings made up a triangle with Meouch and Phobos both staring at the new arrival. He moved slowly and then stopped. He raised his hand and waved. “Uh, hi?”

Phobos now pointed his sword towards the new arrival. “What is your business here?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s you two right? Phobos and Meouch right?” Sung asked.

“Lord.” “Commander.”

Phobos and Meouch shot each other a look before turning back to Sung.

“Oh well if we’re doing that, I am Doctor Sung, nice to meet you.” Sung bowed towards his new friends.

“Wait, so... you’re not with the Diamond Blooddrops?” Meouch asked.

“Nope!” Sung happily responded.

“And you’re not a cop? You have to tell me if you are!”

“Definitely not!”

Meouch sighed in relief. “Well fuck, that’s one thing I don’t have to deal with right now.”

Phobos pointed his sword back towards Meouch.

“Oh yeah.”

“I will still have righteous vengeance on the behalf of my people.” Phobos said.

“Woah, as metal as that sounds, I’m gonna have to ask that you not do that.” Sung said, getting closer to the situation.

“And why would I listen to the strange pylon that came from a wormhole?” Phobos shot at Sung.

Meouch looked back and went “That was a wormhole?”

“Because...” Sung continued. “I think that we can make a great change in this universe! Andalsoineedalittlehelpwithsomethingtoo.”

“What was that?” Meouch asked.

“I’m glad you asked Commander! You’ve likely not heard of it, but there is an epidemic going throughout the whole known and unknown universe, and I’ve dedicated my whole existence attempting to eradicate it! This plague is called...” Sung paused for a moment, to be dramatic. “Boredom.”

Phobos once again wavered in his stance from hearing such nonsense, while Meouch began laughing.

“You seriously expect us to believe that?!? That’s the biggest load of bull-”

“Silence.” Phobos had gotten closer to Meouch with his sword inches away from his chest. Meouch tried to stay quiet, but still quietly chuckled to himself. Phobos turned back to Sung. “You have still not explained why I should help you, let alone not end this barbarian’s life.”

Sung stayed quiet for a moment, this time to think. “Alright Lord Phobos, I’m gonna tell you something. I’ve been keeping tabs on you two for a while now, and despite the current... circumstances, you two, should you come with me, would become best friends.”

Phobos edged closer to Meouch. The sword was pressing against his chest. “Doubtful.”

“Let me tell you a few more things then, Lord Phobos. That is a largely ceremonial sword, and while it is still quite a deadly weapon in your hands, it is still no comparison to the Adabranium swords that were manufactured on your planet. Additionally, I know that while you can, you have a strong aversion to fighting and violence in general, especially up close like this. Also, I see that there is a pistol on the ground over there, and would like you to know that Meouch has at least four more in his vest alone. He’s more gun than lion right now. Now. I would like you to hear me out. I would describe myself as a pretty benevolent guy, and I have nothing but good will towards the universe. All I’m asking is that you come with me onto the ship, and hear out my plans. If you don’t like them, we’ll drop you off anywhere you want in the universe with Meouch and you’ll never see me again. But I must say, I’m a pretty likable guy.” Sung flashed a smile at Phobos. “Oh and also, there’s a pretty nice guitar in there with your name on it in there.” Sung pointed back at his ship, the door open, awaiting new guests.

Lord Phobos stood frozen. Meouch felt the sword tear a hole in his vest before it was pulled away. Phobos sheathed his sword and walked past Sung. “I will listen to your plans and leave to get a new ship.”

“Sounds good bud! Don’t mind the robot!” Sung yelled after him before looking at Meouch.

‘Listen Commander, I am your best choice at the moment. I don’t want you dead and have a mostly working ship for you to rest in. I could leave you here for you to fix the years worth of damage on either of these ships, but it's likely that either you will be arrested or killed before that’ll happen. And I know that that pistol over there was your only gun.”

“Alright, I’m in.” Meouch began walking to Sung’s ship. Sung followed close behind and closed the hull door behind him.

Phobos stood near the entrance of the ship and held his hand pointed towards a seat in the cockpit. Meouch followed where he was pointing and saw a figure facing away from them. Then slowly, the chair turned around and revealed a white robot with red eyes staring at them.

“What the fuck is that?” Meouch yelled.

“Man Havve, you weren’t supposed to freak these guys out!” Sung reprimanded.

Havve shrugged. Phobos lowered his hand.

“Anyways fellas, this is Havve Hogan!” Sung pointed his new friends to his slightly less new friend. “Long story short, he’s an old robot with some murderous tendencies that I fixed up who is now our computer/muscle/percussion.” 

“Murderous tendencies..?” Phobos asked. He unconsciously reached for his sword.

“Yeah, but he’s mostly over that!”

“Mostly?”

“Yeah!”

“So Doc...” Meouch interrupted. “...what’s your grand plan you’ve roped us into?”

“Glad you asked! So! Step one! Have you two ever heard of...” Sung paused dramatically again. “...The Device?” 

“Are you serious? That’s a damn fairytale!” 

“The thing that’s supposedly an infinite source of power?” Phobos asked.

“Yeah!” Sung answered as eager as ever.

“And no one has ever even found any trace up?”

“Yeah!”

“Cause it doesn’t exist.” Meouch said.

Sung pointed at him. “Hey! No! It does exist! And Havve has all of my data in his fancy computer brain!” He spun and pointed towards Havve who looked relatively surprised by this statement. “C’mon, I backed up all my data into your brain, you have it!”

Havve shook his head no.

“...Shit. Shitshitshit. Alright. So slight change of plans. We have to go visit my first computer and get my data off of her.” Sung said reluctantly.

“Ok, her?” Meouch asked.

“Yeah, we went through a pretty rough divorce a couple years ago. But I’m sure she’ll help us out!”

Phobos put his hand on his mask. “And in what terribly inconvenient location is she located?”

“Uh... I’m pretty sure she works at the Universal Law Department now.”


	2. Computer Wife

“The ULD? Your wife is a cop?” Meouch yelled.

“Ex-wife...” Sung said dejectedly.

“You got divorced by a computer?” Phobos asked.

“No! It was a mutual divorcing! If anything I left her!” Sung got very defensive and crossed his arms.

“Ok...”

“I can’t go to the fuckin’ ULD, might as well kill me now.” Meouch said.

“Gladly.” Phobos quickly added.

“No murder!” Sung got between Meouch and Phobos. “That includes you Havve!” He pointed at Havve who was just minding his own business. Havve moved his head in a slight circle, which was the closest thing he could do to rolling his eyes.

"What do you expect to happen? We waltz on in holdin' hands and the police give us everything we need?" Meouch pushed his finger into Sung before throwing up his hands. "I'm the most wanted man in the universe!"

Everyone snickered, but Phobos made it a point to be noticed.

"You are a nobody and you will die a nobody Meouch." Phobos paused and looked at Havve. "You know things, correct? What are the wanted levels of all us?"

Havve stared for a moment before turning to the ship's controls. A moment later, the ship computer's robotic voice rang out.

"HOGAN, HAVVE WANTED LEVEL: N/A.

PHOBOS WANTED LEVEL: N/A. 

MEOUCH, JAZZLAN WANTED LEVEL: 57,936."

Phobos turned back to Meouch. "See Jazzlan? A no-"

"SUNG, DOCTOR WANTED LEVEL: 42."

Everyone turned to Sung, who looked quite embarrassed. After a prolonged silence, Phobos went “Excuse me?”

Sung scratched behind his head and let out a nervous chuckle. “Aw well, I haven’t checked in a while, it went up more than I thought.” 

Meouch marched up to Sung and looked down into his visor. “And what was it last time you checked?”

“You won’t believe this, but uh, 69... hahaha.”

Phobos interrupted Sung’s very forced laughing. “So. You mean to tell me that you, an apparently huge criminal, want me to team up with you, and another criminal? One who is likely about to shoot up in the wanted rankings due to him destroying my planet?”

“Thank ya, but I didn’t destroy your planet Phobs.” Meouch added very nonchalantly. 

“I hate that very incorrect sentence.”

“Ok ok ok, listen! Guys!” Sung backed away from Phobos and Meouch, not expecting to be on the back foot this soon. “I haven’t even done any bad crimes!”

“I have done all sorts of nasty shit, and I’m fuckin nowhere near you! What have you done to get so high?” Meouch asked.

“Mostly using illegal technologies and technomancy, and maybe just a little necromancy.”

“What.” Phobos stared at Sung.

“Ok, ignoring that last bit of bullshit, what sorta technology? I can understand that shit.” Meouch said.

“Well you don’t reconstruct a Murderbot through completely legal means, hope you don’t mind Havve.” Sung looked at Havve who just shrugged. “And well, uh, do you guys know what a time crystal is?”

“Yes, my family was instrumental in understanding the dangers of time crystals, and the subsequent outlawing and destruction of them.” Phobos said.

“Oh well, you may not be thrilled to know that there is one onboard and has been used several times. Although...” Sung looked to Havve who nodded. “It is currently tapped out because of our last jump.” 

“So why didn’t you go and stop all of this from happening?” Meouch asked. 

“Um well, I think it will be better if Phobos explains.” Sung looked to Phobos, nervously expectant. 

“While time crystals can take you to any point in time, all of them have built-in restrictions. It will not allow you to go anywhere near anything that is...” Phobos paused for a moment, his face still invisible underneath his mask. “...anything that is a Universal Cataclysm Event. If it senses you attempting to do so, it will, it will implode, taking out anything near it.” That last part came out very shakily as if he had witnessed it before.

“Yes exactly. I wanted to recruit both of you, but couldn’t until after that... event had passed. I am truly sorry that it had to happen.” Sung said.

Phobos sat down in one of the cockpit seats and put his head in his hands.

“This is going to sound really blunt and rude, and I promise I don’t want it too, but, if you two both work with me, we will take vengeance on whoever caused this.” Sung said mostly to Phobos.

Phobos looked up from his hands towards Sung. “I know who did it, he’s standing right next to you.”

“C’mon man, I didn’t blow up the place!” Meouch overreacted.

“Ok, calm down, let’s talk this through.” Sung looked to Phobos and then turned to Meouch. “You were a funk dealer right?”

“Would say I still am, yeah.” Meouch answered.

“And you have a lot of... regular customers correct?”

“Oh yeah, I got the best funk in the universe.”

“And you wouldn’t have as many regulars if there was even a rumor that your stuff was capable of something like this right?”

“Yeah... FUCK I GOT NO MONEY NOW!!!” Meouch threw his hands to his head and did a yell/growl.

“Exactly, and you have no history, good or bad, with Phobos’ people besides routine deliveries and drop-offs, so why would take such a drastic action against them?”

“SOMEONE FUCKED ME!!! GODDAMN IT!!!” Meouch continued yelling and cussing.

Sung turned back to Phobos. “You’re starting to see that it wasn’t him right? He’s in a pretty bad spot himself.”

Phobos looked past Sung towards Meouch, who was still putting things together and yelling about it. “Yes... but he’s not completely off the hook yet. But for now, I suppose, let’s move on.” Phobos stood back up out of the cockpit seat, all his composure regained. “You want us to break into the ULD for a computer?”

“Nope! Nothing like that!” Sung said, beginning to regain his energy as well. “So, before she worked at the ULD, my Computer Wife accompanied me on many of my adventures and helped with much of my research on The Device. Unfortunately, when she left me, she took a lot of my data with her.” 

“So what, you want her to print out your research or something?” Meouch asked.

“No, what will hopefully happen is that she will remember all the fun we used to have together, and then she will download my research into Havve.” Sung explained.

Havve shot out of his seat and marched up to Sung. 

“Aw man c’mon not you too! It’s a good plan it’ll work!”

Havve continued to glare down at Sung.

“Ok, what if I ask her to try and uncorrupt some of those memories? Will that get you on side?”

Havve pointed at his neck.

“And we’ll go shopping for a voicebox after too.”

Havve nodded and backed off.

“Ok, any more objections?” Sung asked. Everyone stayed silent. “Cool, well while we’re here, you guys can load up anything you want from your ships. I’ll drop the cargo door for you two.”

“Groovy.” Meouch said and then walked out of the ship. After a moment, Phobos left.

After putting down the cargo door, Sung sat down and looked at Havve. “Well, I think that went pretty well!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meouch and Phobos brought in several things from their ships, and while Phobos only had a few boxes, Meouch had several whole crates he brought aboard, as well several other miscellaneous items. To Phobos, it looked like Meouch had been living out his ship for a while now. After they were done loading, the cargo door was shut, and Sung and Havve guided the ship into a relatively smooth take off. Soon enough, stars began to zip by as they picked up speed.

“Let me tell you Havve, it is real nice having help again, this thing has not flown so smooth in years!” Sung said while entering various commands on the control panel in front of him. Havve nodded while focusing on the controls in front of him. Phobos and Meouch watched from behind them, almost in amazement at how in sync Sung and Havve were.

“So, no changin’ your minds on visitin’ the ULD huh?” Meouch asked.

“Nope.” Sung said.

Havve nodded no.

“It seems like the most mutually beneficial option.” Phobos said.

“You’re alright with us just goin’ to the police number 42?” Meouch asked Sung.

“You worry too much Commander, it’ll be fine! We’re almost there anyways. Havve can you check the cloaking systems?” Sung asked.

Havve nodded and Meouch looked at Sung annoyed. 

“Why do we need cloaking systems Doc?” Meouch asked.

Sung swiveled in his chair to face Meouch. “Well, with the Time Crystal on board, as well as some other things, this ship is giving off so much energy that we might as well be shooting fireworks from this thing. That and they probably have scans to match what we look like.” Sung remembered something and then turned to Phobos. “Oh by the way Phobos, I hope you don’t mind that we’re using your ship as a disguise, it works the best for the plan.”

“I hope you don’t mind when I turn you in when this plan inevitably fails.” Phobos said coldly.

“You know the plan though?” Sung asked him.

“I communicate with the ULD and get Agent C to come to the ship, you talk to her and get the information.”

“Yeah, you got it! You ready?” Sung enthusiastically asked Phobos.

“I will proceed with the plan.”

“Well get ready, we’re just about there. Meouch, you go hide somewhere, or better yet, you can start unpacking whatever you loaded on the ship! Go pick out a room!” Sung then excitedly shooed Meouch away.

“Yeah yeah, I’ll just mess it up, I got it...” Meouch grumbled out of the room.

“Alright Phobos, you’re up!” Sung motioned for Phobos to come to the control panel. As soon as he came up, a message began to come through.

“You are nearing Universal Law Department territory, explain your business, or turn back.” The voice said. There was a brief pause and Sung and Havve both looked at Phobos. Nothing happened until Havve nudged Phobos in the side.

“Oh, uh...” Phobos stumbled over his words before finding his usual royal self. “Yes, I am Lord Phobos and would like to speak to Agent C.”

There was a very brief pause on the other side, and then the same voice came back through, though it sounded slightly embarrassed. "Sorry, your lordship, we were suspicious of your craft due to..."

"Yes, I know." Phobos cut them off.

"Well, it is good to know that your esteemed self is ok. Any reason that you want to talk to Agent C in particular?"

"... I have heard good things about her work, and she seems like someone who I can trust in my... unique situation." Phobos was hesitant with his words, but they carried through without suspicion. "Due to that as well, will they be willing to meet me in my ship? Not to cast any suspicion on the honorable ULD, but I do not know who could be listening, nor who to trust."

"I'm sure she'll understand my lord. Could you kindly dock at station... 13? She will be out in a moment sir." The voice said.

"Very good. I will be there." The communications cut off and the air of tension lifted.

"Oh my god Phobos!" Sung yelled while piloting the ship down. "That was some great improv, that's gonna come in handy in our line of work!"

Phobos looked to Havve, who gave him a thumbs up. He didn't show it, but deep down, Phobos felt a strange sense of pride in what he had just accomplished.

The ship set down and Sung and Havve got out of their seats. "Alright Phobs, we're gonna make ourselves scarce for a moment, till C's already onboard. We'll see you soon!" Sung and Havve walked off into the bowels of the ship, leaving Phobos alone in the boarding area.

He sat down and began thinking to himself. Doctor Sung, for being a universally wanted criminal, truly did not seem like that bad of a person, just someone who genuinely wants to do the right thing. And his so-called murderbot Havve Hogan seemed surprisingly calm and collected for something like that. Those two seemed to share a bond that he had not seen in two such different beings. He could forget that he was onboard with criminals however, Sung could be tricking him despite his appearances, and Meouch was still onboard the ship somewhere, the one who had destroyed his planet, and everything he knew. Everyone he knew...

*Clang Clang*

Someone was knocking on the bay door, metal against metal. Phobos briefly remembered that Sung called her a computer repeatedly. He got up and lowered the bay doors and his thoughts were confirmed. In front of the entrance was a mostly humanoid body, with several key differences. the clothes she was wearing, a pink suit with a matching pink tie, were obviously made to fit a metal body, staying on top of most of it, but also leaving gaps for the spiked pads on her shoulders, elbows, and knees. In the between space where the “suit” met her matching pink gloves, her “skin” could be seen, which was a cool silver plating with no wires showing. However, the thing that Phobos was most surprised by was her head, which looked like a computer, but one that was severely outdated. It looked like an ancient CRT monitor, which were in museums in Phobos’ planet, but one that had received upgrades to fit in with the rest of her body. She was looking down at a clipboard in her hands, before looking up at Phobos with a blank black screen, a green exclamation mark popped up, and then promptly disappeared. She extended a hand and said with a voice that was almost organic but not quite, “I’m so sorry about your loss Lord Phobos.” When she spoke, soundwaves appeared on her screen.

Phobos extended his hand out of the ship to invite her in. She took his hand and walked aboard, looking back down at her clipboard. When they were both inside, the ship's door closed behind them. “Is there a reason that you asked for me specifically Lord?” When she looked up at Phobos, her monitor displayed a question mark.

“I had heard that you were a good agent from... a friend. I don’t have a lot of options in my current situation. I wished to speak to you privately, because, well look at the scope of things.” 

C nodded and wrote something down on her clipboard. They looked back up at Phobos with another question mark on their monitor. “This is a long shot, but do you have any leads on what may have happened?”

Phobos was silent for a moment, and then asked: “Do you know you know anything about the funk trade?”

C paused, with an hourglass spinning on her screen. “Yes, according to the ULD files the Diamond Blooddrops were operating in your planet’s star system, specifically a few members such as Jaz-”

There was a clattering and the sound of scrambling before a short guy in a yellow jumpsuit and orange pylon clumsily stumbled into the room. He locked eyes with his ex-wife and then awkwardly leaned against the wall of the ship. C looked around the ship and then at Sung. Her screen lit up with an ellipsis before going blank again. 

“Wow Cassie, I-” 

“It’s C now.” 

“Oh uh, hi again C! You look great!”

“Mhm.” C put her hand to the side of her head. “ULD Headquarters, this is Agent C, I am currently in the ship located at dock 13, criminal number 42 is with me.” C’s screen lit up with an ellipsis again before changing to a >:(.

“Oh jeez...” Sung sighed.

“You know how I hate resorting to emoticons Sung. Unfortunately, I was programmed with simplistic expressions despite my extraordinary everything else.” 

“I know...”

“You’re jamming my signals. You held on to my communication codes after I left you?” C asked.

“I have them memorized...” Sung sheepishly admitted. 

“Gross.”

“I know...”

“So.” C folded her arms. “What do you want this time Sung?”

Phobos looked at Sung. “You’ve done this before?”

“Well, yeah, kinda...” Sung said.

“Unsuccessfully. I usually can detect him before he can get close, and then the ULD chases him off.” C gazed around the ship. “I suppose I need to update my systems again...” She sighed, and then looked at Phobos. “He’s also never had help before, what’s your stake in this? He didn’t give you that vague...” Her screen lit up with a cone. “...‘I’ll stop boredom!’ nonsense did he?” Her screen went blank again.

Phobos looked back at Sung. “He seems... noble in his pursuits, if not too optimistic. I’ve only heard rumors of planets falling spectacularly, in a similar fashion to what was described. And he claims to have information on The Device.”

C snapped towards Sung. “Is that why you’re here? Your old research?”

“Uh... maybe?” Sung said.

“You’re not getting it.” C’s screen lit up with a “>:-p” and after a moment blinked off. “...I thought that would look ruder than it was.”

“C’mon C!” Sung approached his ex-wife. “Remember all the good times we had!” Sung stood behind her chair and spun it around. C got up and looked down at Sung. She then turned and walked away.

“Ceeee... remember that time on Guna W57V found that pack of Cogrils? The species long thought to be extinct? We found the last pack! And now you can go down to any pet store and adopt one.” Sung said with a singsongy voice.

C faced the wall. “An isolated instance of us doing good. We were criminals.”

“Yeah but wasn’t that fun?” Sung put one hand on her shoulder and gestured off into the distance with his other. “A husband and wife, adventuring through the cosmos, doing whatever they wanted.”

C brushed his hand off her shoulder. “It was whatever you wanted, Sung. You built me as a computer first, and a wife second. I was only there to help with your adventures and your research.”

Sung began raising his voice at C. “I needed help with all my research! And the body that you’re built on is directly tied to that research!” 

C’s screen went red. “AND NOTHING CAME OF YOUR RESEARCH DID IT?”

“So um...” Phobos got up from his chair. “I’m going to see what the other two are up to. Bye.” Phobos walked as fast as he could out of the room,

As he walked down the hall of Sung’s ship, he didn’t see anyone in the branching off rooms until he went down to the cargo hold and saw Meouch and Havve sitting on some crates playing a game. Meouch looked up from his game toward Phobos.

“I’m not bein’ arrested am I?” Meouch asked him.

Phobos looked for a crate to sit on. “No, not yet at least.”

“Cool.” Meouch went back to his game.

Phobos pushed a crate next to where Havve and Meouch were sitting. They were playing Tic-Tac-Toe. 

“So what’s goin’ out there?” Meouch asked without looking at Phobos.

“Well. Doctor Sung and Agent C are arguing about their old relationship.” Phobos said.

Meouch put down an O. “Yeah, I’ve been there.”

Both Havve and Phobos stared at Meouch.

“...What? I have a life!” 

Havve looked down at his game, wrote down an X, and then drew a line through three Xs. 

“Dammit! How many times is that now?” Meouch asked Havve.

Havve held up 9 fingers.

Phobos looked to Havve. “You don’t talk much huh?”

Havve stretched his neck and pointed to it.

“Bad voicebox?” Phobos asked.

“Yeah, I tried 20 questions earlier, didn’t get that far.” Meouch asked.

“Did he try any yes or no questions?” Phobos asked Havve.

Havve shook his head no.

“Idiot.”

“Watch it, ‘my lord’.” Meouch said. “Well, you ask him shit then.”

“You’re name is Havve Hogan, correct?” Phobos asked.

Havve nodded yes.

“Have you always been voiceless?”

Havve shrugged.

“Whaddya mean you don’t know?” Meouch asked.

Havve glared at him

“Quiet Commander. Is Sung trying to help you with your voice?” Phobos asked.

Yes.

“Do you know much about Sung?”

Havve held out his hand and shook it. Kinda.

Phobos thought back to what Sung and C were yelling. “Is Sung using you as a computer?”

Havve nodded yes, and then flexed his arms.

“Computer and muscle. Has he done much for you?”

Havve nodded his head yes, and then began to act something out. He drew a finger across his neck, turned off his eye lights, and let his head go limp. He made a triangle with his fingers and then blinked his lights back on.

“So Sung brought you back to life?”

“You got somethin from that?” Meouch asked.

Havve nodded his head yes.

“What have you done with him so far?” Phobos asked.

Havve pointed at Phobos and Meouch and then gestured to everything around him.

“Not much then.”

“Hey, I gotta question.” Meouch leaned forward on the table crate. “Why’s Sung keep calling you a murderbot and whatever?”

Havve responded by pulling out a knife and stabbing it into the crate right in front of Meouch. Meouch backed away slowly.

“You had that this whole time?” Meouch asked.

Yes.

“Damn man, we’re just playin’ Tic-Tac-Toe...”

“You’re not going to kill us are you?” Phobos asked calmly.

Havve waited a moment and then shook his head no.

“Why the hesitation?” Phobos asked, remaining calm.

“Yeah, I’d also really like to know that!” Meouch asked, significantly less calm.

Havve looked around and then grabbed the pencil he was using to play games with Meouch. He erased the board and then wrote:

I listen to Sung. Sung is opposed to any violence that is not “righteous”.

Havve paused to think, and then wrote something else.

You two seem nice to have around anyway.

“Aww, you big ol’ softie!” Meouch chuckled.

Havve flipped him off.

“Nah, Havve, I think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship. And considering I cannot go back to my former employers it seems like a fine opportunity for me too!” Meouch said.

“Speaking of which...” Phobos began coldly. “...I’d like to know about them.”

“Y’know Phobs, that seems like a good idea! Clear up any miscommunication!” Meouch agreed very enthusiastically. 

“Yes, it would.” A robotic voice rang through the cargo hold. Everyone looked to see Agent C standing in the doorway, with Sung standing behind her awkwardly.

“I could have every single one of you arrested right now. But, I’ve made a deal with Sung. I will help him if you guys help me.” C said.

Sung peeked out from behind his ex-wife. “Yeah, so if you guys could answer any questions C-” 

“You can leave now Sung.” C cut him off.

“O-ok, I’ll just be in the cockpit if you need me...” Sung slunk away.

“What happened in there?” Meouch asked, before realizing who he was asking. “Wait hey! I can explain everything!” 

“Good. And you will, or you will sit in a cell for the rest of your life.” C told him. “Now, to be respectful, I will allow Lord Phobos to begin questioning on the destruction of his planet.”

Images flashed through Phobos’ mind. Chaos. Fire. His sword. He forgot that he still had it sheathed to his back. After he came back too, he turned to C. “Isn’t that very unorthodox?”

“This whole situation is unorthodox. As the only member of the law here, I will decide what happens for the next little while. Now begin your questioning.” 

Phobos turned back to Meouch. Just a few hours ago, he was trying to kill him. “How could something like this possibly happen?” Phobos stayed calm despite it all.

“Ok, so, I’ve been thinking! I only deliver good funk right? Some other people will try to cut it with jazz or some shit, but my stuff is 100% good quality funk. It'll make a nerd the coolest kid on campus it's so good. Everyone knows this, especially my customers.” Meouch said very smugly.

“...The point being?” Phobos asked.

“You heard Sung say it earlier. I wouldn’t be in the game if my funk could blow up planets, so someone must’ve done something to it!”

“Like what?”

“Alright, so I don’t know the what, but I probably know the who.” Meouch paused to allow for someone to ask him who, but everyone just waited for him to continue. He sighed, and the started talking. “So you guys have heard of my old gang, right? The Diamond Blooddrops?” This time when Meouch paused, C and Phobos both nodded, and so he continued. “They were kinda pissed at me right before all of this went down.”

“What did you do?” Phobos asked.

“Why do you think I did anything?” Meouch asked incredulously.

Everyone in the room just looked at him.

“Well this one time, I might have done something.”

No one was surprised.

“Alright so, the boss, ‘The Fang’, he owed me alot of money, and y’know, he’s a busy guy, so I sorta figured I’d just... take it off his hands.” Meouch said.

“You robbed your gang boss?” Phobos asked.

“Robbed is such an ugly word! It’s more like I took care of a payroll problem for him.” Meouch tried defending himself.

“Did you do anything else?”

Meouch hesitated. “Well, I might have, sort of... plowed his daughter. Just a little.”

Havve’s shoulders bounced up and down.

“Wow. Ok. I can understand why people want to fuck you over.” Phobos was astonished.

“Yeah see! But since I’m so charming and profitable, they let me work for them still! Which I now realize was a mistake, but hey, hindsight is 20/20 and all that.”

C finally reentered the conversation. “But to take such an extreme response against you, that’s unreasonable.”

Meouch put his hands behind his head. “I’m an extreme guy.”

“Clearly. But why would they do this specifically?” C asked.

“I dunno, Phobos’ planet was always pretty profitable, so they definitely hurt my wallet, so other than that, no idea.”

“What? No one on my planet needed anything like what you’re selling!” Phobos accused.

“Hate to break to you man, but yeah, some of my best customers were there. Maybe that’s how you guys got so advanced, just needed some outside inspiration.” 

Phobos went silent. A moment passed before C finally stepped in. 

“Tell me about your funk. How’s it made?” C asked Meouch.

“Well, it’s all homegrown and natural. Make straight from my bass. The only issue is that it’s from a bass, not great for anyone if you’re not there for a show or something. So instead of making people come to see you, people figured out how to make it tangible, although admittedly, the end results are a little... volatile.” Meouch explained. “Nothing on the scale of what happened though, that would have to take outside interference, from like, I dunno, some sorta anti-funk.”

“Something like...” Phobos began. “...Boredom.”

C’s screen lit up with an exclamation mark, before being covered by numerous mathematical equations. “Yes. Something like Boredom would create that exact reaction, but it would have to be pure Boredom, and no one has seen any of that in... Fuck.”

“What’s wrong, C?” Phobos asked.

“Sung might’ve been right.” She said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“See, I knew you guys would agree with me!” Sung yelled.

Everyone had gathered in the cockpit where Sung had been sent to wait. He was nervous until C told him that he was right, which filled him with joy.

“So what destroyed my planet was some sort of, Boredom infused Funk?” Phobos asked.

“Me and Havve went over the math numerous times. It checks out.” C said. She was sitting in a cockpit chair next to Havve. Their heads were connected with some sort of cable.

“Remind me what’s going on here?” Meouch asked Sung, gesturing to the two liked robots.

“Long story short, I did alot of research with C there, and when she left me, she took alot of it with her. Now Havve is going to get that data and also put it on the ship computer afterwards.” Sung explained.

“Why don’t you just use normal computers?” Meouch asked. “No offense to you two.”

“It’s cause I do alot of... on the spot calculations and data interpretations.” Sung said.

“He needs someone who can do math and fight at the same time.” C said. She held up her hand and received a high five from Havve. She then turned to him and asked: “You finished?” Havve nodded, and pulled the cord from his head, and C did the same.

“So you got all of it Havve?” Sung asked.

Havve nodded yes.

“Cool.”

“Well as per our agreement Sung, I will suggest that the ULD stop looking into you and Meouch, and begin looking into the Diamond Blooddrops.” C said.

“Thank you C! It really means alot to me and-”

“And also you will never speak to me unless I contact you.”

“...well yeah I guess that too...” Sung looked at the floor dejectedly.

“Now, I suggest that you leave quickly unless you want to be held for further questioning.” C began heading toward the exit of the ship. “Goodbye. Hopefully, another meeting is not necessary.” And with that, she left the ship.

“Well let’s all buckle up then!” Sung said. He and Havve got into the two seats at the front to pilot, and Meouch and Phobos sat behind them, ready for take-off. Soon enough, the ship was blasting off into space again.

“So what now?” Meouch asked.

“Well I told Havve we’d look for a voicebox at the store, so I guess we’re going shopping.” You two go rest though, it’ll be a while, and it’s been a long day. Go unpack and stuff, me and Havve got this.” Sung said.

“Don’t gotta tell me twice!” Meouch was out his chair and heading down the hall in a second.

Phobos hesitated in his seat. Sung turned to face him and gave him a smile. Phobos nodded in acknowledgment and left silently.

After those two were gone, Sung and Havve flew silently through space, until Sung asked Havve something.

“Hey so, was C able to unlock any memories in there?”

Havve nodded his head no.

“Damn, I’m sorry Havve, I’m sure we’ll be able to one day.”

Havve shrugged, and then put his hands to the side of his head, before pushing them forward.

“Looking towards the future huh?”

Havve nodded yes.

“Me too buddy.” After a moment of silence, Sung nervously asked something else. “Hey, do you think C misses me at all?”

Havve’s shoulders bounced up and down.


	3. Interstellar Strut

Phobos sat down on his new bed in his new room onboard Doctor Sung’s ship. Commander Meouch was nice enough to help him bring his cargo to his room, although he didn’t accept the help back. Phobos had his door closed, but heard Meouch shuffling back and forth for a while, until he was apparently done. The only light in Phobos’ room was a lamp in the corner, which barely illuminated the room. For the first time all day, Phobos removed his helmet. Everything he was wearing was for the ceremony that morning, his induction ceremony. Officially becoming a Lord, like he was always told he would be. And now, the only people that he ruled were sitting in his room. He looked into the reflection of his helmet’s visor, and for the first time that day, allowed himself to feel something other than calm. Tears plonked down onto the visor, before he pulled the helmet close, a hug for the only remnants of his people. Phobos wept for he didn’t know how long, and didn’t stop until he noticed his door was open.

In his doorframe, two unblinking red eyes were staring at Phobos.

Phobos quickly wiped his eyes with his arm. “Oh um, hi...”

Havve stood in the doorway.

“You can come in if you’d like.”

Havve walked in and sat on the bed next to Phobos, but stared straight ahead. A few awkward seconds passed before Havve looked at Phobos. He raised a finger to below his eye and wiped.

“It’s been... a rough day...” Phobos sighed.

Havve loosened his posture and sat up on the bed with his legs crossed.

“You want to listen?” Phobos asked.

Havve nodded yes rapidly.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt... you aren’t going to tell anyone any of this are you?”

Havve nodded no.

Phobos looked at Havve’s hands. “So you’re not entirely robot are you?” 

Havve held up his hands to look at them. He then slowly started to nod no, but he just ended up shrugging.

“You’re not sure? Well, I guess that’s something else Sung is going to help you with then?”

Havve nodded yes.

“Well, if you used to be organic, then that means you at least had alot. Feelings, a family, friends, a home...” Phobos began to tear up and threw himself onto Havve, burying his face into the robot’s chest. Havve could barely hear him sobbing, but felt his chest getting wet. After a moment of not knowing what to do, Havve extended his arm and patted Phobos on the back, before hugging him.

Eventually, after a while, Phobos began to calm down a little and peeled himself off of Havve. Between his heavy breathing and sniffles, he started to talk. “I’m sorry you have to see me like this... it’s so unbecoming.”

Havve tilted his head in confusion.

“I’m a lord now, I’m supposed to always be calm and proper, not...” Phobos gestured to himself. “...this mess. I’m like how I was when I was younger...” Phobos trailed off.

Havve rolled his hand to tell Phobos to continue.

“Oh, well, I was a rebel as a kid... teenager...” Phobos sighed. “...a year ago... It was always my duty to become lord, right? But I never really wanted that, just wanted to play my guitar... Now I don’t know what to do for everyone...” Phobos sat and thought for a moment. “There was this tradition we had... whenever someone... passed... we would uh... have a moment of silence for them. Maybe I could do that?” Phobos looked to Havve. “Do you know any, uh, nonverbal communication?”

Havve raised his fist and made it “nod”.

“Could you teach me?” 

Havve patted Phobos’ shoulder and nodded. 

“Thank you Havve...” Phobos hugged Havve.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meouch needed to move some stuff to his room. While he was going to get his stuff in the cargo hold, Phobos came in a moment after him, and to get him out of there faster, Meouch offered to help him out. After he was out of the way, Meouch cracked open one of the crates he brought onboard from his ship, looked inside, and saw that it was still full of sealed jars of funk. He sighed a sigh of relief before reaching in and pulling one out.

“What the fuck is goin’ on here...”

Meouch’s funk was sound made tangible. It was hard to see, but when you did, you saw little clear waves swimming in the jar. But when Meouch looked in, he also saw dark purple waves mixed in. 

“Huh. Guess it was that boredom shit or whatever...” Meouch put the jar back in the crate and sealed it back up. “Well fuck. Have to deal with this shit now.” Meouch started shuffling through his stuff and bringing some of it to back to his room. After a while of moving stuff, Meouch layed down on his new bed. As soon as he began to relax, he started to feel a vibration inside his vest. He pulled out his communicator and saw that it was an unknown number. Meouch let it ring out, and then silenced it.

“Yeah yeah, I know who you are. I’m takin a nap.” Meouch said, and then passed out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Phobos woke up to an obnoxiously loud voice, which was strange because he didn’t remember falling asleep.

“Hello, this is your handsome and tall captain speaking, everyone come to the, uh, one space behind the cockpit we’ve been hanging out so we can have our morning meeting!” It was silent for a moment before: “Nailed it! So glad I installed this PA system!”

Phobos took a moment to take in his surroundings. He wasn’t in his bedroom, this was much smaller and drab. All it was was a grey box. He looked to his side and saw his ceremonial helmet sitting on a table beside his bed. Once he started moving, he noticed how uncomfortable he was, even though he was tucked in. He was wearing his ceremonial armor. Why?

And then the memories of yesterday came flooding back.

The fire, the chaos, the space battle, the asteroid, Meouch, Sung, Agent C.

Havve Hogan.

Phobos looked at his helmet, and then how he was tucked in. Did Havve..?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meouch was wakened up by some voice and started cursing at it. He rolled over and checked his communicator. 392 missed calls, 874 new messages. Someone wanted to get in contact with him, probably the gang, but he had no idea what could be so important.

The image of the tainted funk popped into Meouch’s head, and a moment later he was sitting up in his bed, horrified by what he remembered. He hurried out of his room and tripped on a robot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Phobos put his helmet back on, he heard a loud *WHUMP* in the hall, and when he left his room, he saw Meouch laying on top of Havve.

“...Good morning.” Phobos said.

“Aw shut it, ol’ junkpile was layin’ outside my door.” Meouch picked himself of the ground. Havve stayed there. It looked like he fell over.

“Is he ok?” Phobos hurried to check Havve, and saw that his eye lights were out. 

“s-s-s-SUNG!!!” Phobos screamed.

A moment later, Sung was walking towards them. “What’s wrong Phobs?” He asked nonchalantly before seeing Phobos on the ground holding onto Havve. He rushed over and got down on the ground with them. 

“What happened?” Sung asked, with all jovialness gone from his voice. 

Phobos was more shaken than either Sung or Meouch had seen. “I, I, I don’t know, he was just on the ground.”

Sung flipped open a panel on Havve’s chest and sighed a breath of relief. “Well, it’s nothin serious, he just needs a charge. He has a pretty long battery life, but its been a taxing few days. He should’ve had enough to make it to his room though...” Sung shrugged. “Oh well. Anyone wanna help me carry him?”

“Not it.” Meouch said, and then Sung and Phobos watched him walk off. 

After they shared a glance, Phobos told Sung that he would help. Sung grabbed Havve’s legs and Phobos grabbed under his arms. Together they lifted Havve and started awkwardly shuffling down the hall to Havve’s room. Phobos was thinking about how he looked a moment ago and wanted everyone to forget, so he broke the silence with Sung.

“So, what’s with the pylon?”

“Hm? Oh! This my dear Phobos is an amazing piece of technology! Inside the visor is all sorts of helpful computermatics, and the cone, though currently dormant, acts as a power dampener! My research has shown that The Device generates more power than can be handled, so this will help harness that power!” Sung was very eager to talk about his cone, even if Phobos didn’t completely get it.

Phobos backed into Havve’s room which was barren besides four things: A long wire hanging from the wall, a weird looking table, a box in the corner, and a full drum kit.

“Yeah, Havve doesn’t really have or want that many things.” Sung said. “But I thinks he’s happy with what he has. Besides the voicebox, which we’re getting today.” 

“So what now?” Phobos asked. 

“Oh well, first, we can set him down...” Sung said while lowering his legs to the ground. “...and then I’ll plug him in, and he’ll be good to go in... bout an hour.”

“Is he going to be ok?” Phobos asked with a hint of worry in his voice.

“Oh yeah, weird that he didn’t make it though. Unless he was doin’ something else for a couple hours, he shoulda been fine.” Sung paused to think for a moment before shrugging it off. “Eh. He’s weird.”

“Yeah...” 

Sung pulled the wire from the wall and plugged it into the back of Havve’s head. “Well Phobs, you wanna come co-pilot with me? Since my other co-pilot is currently charging?” Sung asked.

“Sure.” Phobos and Sung walked out the room together and the door closed behind them.

“Wait.” Phobos stopped to think. “Did you pilot all last night?” Phobos asked.

“Yup!” Sung chipperly answered.

“You didn’t sleep?”

“Nope!”

“...Why not???” 

“Oh well, I don’t need to rest all that much. One of the perks of my species I guess.” 

Sung and Phobos continued down the hall to the cockpit. Phobos walked behind Sung and looked him up and down, and realized he was unable to identify his species.

“Wait... what are you?” 

Sung giddily turned to him. “You wanna hear my origin story?!?”

“Uh...”

“I was born with the rest of the universe, in the middle of the Big Bang! Although soon after, tragedy soon struck. My parents were killed by the dastardly forces of Boredom! And ever since that moment, I have spent every millennia since trying to destroy it! I’ve gotten my doctorates in many fields, quantum physics, ancient technology, future technology, fictional technology, space-time analytics, and much more, although my favorite one is in high kicking!”

“...High kicking?”

Sung immediately did a high kick, his foot coming within inches of Phobos’ helmet. “HUUUUAAAAH! Pretty impressive right? I also got my 69th degree of blackbelt to go with it. I used to have a matching cape but I think I lost that...” Sung looked sadly into the distance, before coming back with his goofy grin once again. “My other achievements include being a self-certified technomancer and necromancer! I am also very tall and handsome!” Sung put his hands on his hips and looked triumphantly into the distance, looking very heroic.

“...Cool.” 

“I know right!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While Sung and Phobos were hanging out, Commander Meouch was pacing in the cargo hold with his communicator in his hands. One of his crates of funk was opened and had a few jars sitting on it, filled with the Boredom infused funk.

“Alright, alright, you got...” Meouch pointed at all his crates. “13 crates of bad product you need to offload, also my guys are trying to kill me? Not sure on that one...” Meouch growled and put his face in his hands. “Why me! Ughhhh...” He looked at his communicator again, and looked past the hundreds of missed calls. He started scrolling through his contacts list.

“Who would be interested in a bunch of hopped-up explosive funk...” Hey scrolled for a bit before landing on one contact. “Yeah probably.” Even though he already made up his mind on who to call, Meouch hesitated before making the call. The line rang briefly before it went silent.

“Hey S.P., turns out a bunch of my funk...” Meouch glanced over at “...went bad. But as it turns out, its pretty explosive and deadly now, and I know that’s the sort of thing you and your boys are interested in. I know it’s an unusual deal, but I was hopin’ we could work it out.”

There was grumbling on the other side of the line.

“Well, I got about 13 crates of the stuff, each crate holds about 25 of the jars, you do the math.”

More grumbling.

“Oh trust me, it does a lot of damage, now how about you throw out a number and see if I like it?”

The other voice spoke, and Meouch’s eyes went wide.

“...Sounds good. Usual spot?”

The other voice spoke.

“Alright, see ya soon.” Meouch hung up. “Finally, things are startin’ to turn around.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The other person hung up their communicator and chuckled to himself. He then made another call.

“Yo, Fang, Meouch is tryin to offload some funk that’s “gone bad” on me. You know anything bout it?” S.P asked.

Fang told him what it was.

“Well, that’s interestin’. Careful though. I can’t hide all of that. You wanna send one of your guys too? ... Alright, just lettin’ you know, I want a bigger kickback this time. See ya soon.”

S.P. hung up his communicator again, just as someone walked into their office.

“Sherrif Porca, Sir.” Agent C said. “I have my write up on the destruction of Planetoid 16-8-15-2-15-19. I apologize that it’s not more extensive, but Lord Phobos did not want to converse for an extended amount of time.”

“Good job sweetheart.” The giant pig humanoid leered at her. “Is that all, or you have my drink too?”

C sighed and placed a beverage on Porca’s desk.

“Good girl, now get goin’.” Porca dismissed.

C left the room and sighed again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Phobos and Sung sat at the front of the cockpit, both of them manning tasks on the ship.

“Phobos, you’re a real natural at this, I gotta say.” Sung said.

“I’ve been flying things all my life, although...” Phobos looked at the mess of controls in front of both of them. “... this is definitely the most unique setup I’ve ever seen.”

“Thanks, I built it myself!”

“Questions.”

“Shoot.”

“You built these controls?”

“Oh well yeah, I built the whole ship! That’s why it can do so much! Nothing on the market really satisfied my needs y’know? And when you have forever, you might as well build your own.”

“Sure, I guess that’s not the most unreasonable thing I’ve heard lately. How’d you fly this thing on your own though? You need two people to reach it al the controls.”

Sung excitedly looked to Phobos. “You wanna see?”

“Might as well see another weird thing.”

Sung flipped a switch and the seats began to move, putting Sung in the center of the control panel, and Phobos behind him. Sung then held his hands over the middle of the console, and slowly, green light and smoke began emanating from in front of him. Switches began flipping themselves, dials turned, and the ship carried on smoothly through space. Out of all the weird stuff Phobos had seen and heard recently, this was probably in the top 3. Sung fell back into his chair and wiped sweat from under his visor.

“Pretty neat right?” Sung said.

“...Your existence continues to confuse me Doctor.” Phobos said.

“Ha! That’s not the first time I’ve heard that! But yeah, I said I knew some technomancy! Can’t keep it goin’ forever though, and for something as large as the ship, it takes alot out of me.” Sung explained.

“Understandable, I guess.” Phobos was moved back up to the control panel as his chair moved back to place. “If you can do all of this, why do you need us?” Phobos asked.

“Oh well, I have found out that music is the best way of eliminating the spread of Boredom, so I sought out some of the greatest musicians to exist.”

Phobos hadn’t seen any musical talent on the ship, and sure he played his guitar as a hobby, but it wasn’t that great. “Well. Tell me when you find them.”

“It might not look it, my dear Phobos, but we are the most powerful musicians in the Universe.” Sung gestured to his black belt. “I have achieved my 69th degree of blackbelt in keytar, and am quiet proficient in other synthesizers. Havve Hogan is able to keep perfect time. Although used for... dubious means, Commander Meouch’s bass playing gives off a natural source of funk. And you, Lord Phobos, have some of the most powerful shredding to ever be known. Together, we are a verifiable gang of Groove Crusaders.”

Phobos looked at Sung. “Groove Crusaders? Is that what we’re calling ourselves?”

“While we might earn the title of Groove Crusaders, I would never have the gall to call ourselves that. I think that we should all collaborate on a group name, when everyone’s here of course. So get thinking!”

“What’re we thinkin’ bout?” Meouch walked in the cockpit and took the seat behind Phobos. 

“Group names.” Phobos responded.

“Hm...” Meouch thought for a moment. “How about ‘Funk Your Mother?’”

“Wow. Well, uh, that is a creative name but, uh...” Sung stammered.

“No.” Phobos said.

“Wait!” Meouch yelled. “I got another!” He paused and waited for Sung and Phobos to turn around and face him. “That Waste Really Pukes.”

“Again, great on the creativity, but not I don’t think that’s what we’re going for.” Sung said.

“I honestly don’t know if that is better or not.” Phobos said. “Hey, y’know what though Meouch? Keep up the creativity.” Phobos chuckled and then turned back to the controls.

“Thanks Phobos. So where we headed?” Meouch asked.

“We’re pickin’ up a voicebox for Havve at an old friends. After that... well... I guess we go after The Device.” Sung said.

“Well hey! Before that, you guys wanna make a pit-stop?” Meouch asked.

“Uh, depends. Where you wanna go Commander?” Sung asked.

“There’s this little dive-in I would love to take my new friends to! Drinks on me!”

“Ok well, I have a question that determines if we go or not Meouch.” Sung said in a very serious voice. “Do they have open mic?”

“Uh, yeah?” Meouch answered.

“Then it’s decided!” Sung clapped his hands together and turned around towards Meouch. “We will have our first performance, and then Meouch will buy us drinks! Then we’ll go get The Device!” Sung looked to his friends to confirm. 

“I have no objections.” Phobos said. “But what about Havve?”

“Oh, I’m sure he’ll be fine with it!” Sung said. “I gotta say Meouch, that was a great idea, I’m surprised I didn’t of something like that myself!”

“Sung, please man your half of the controls.” Phobos said.

“Oh yeah right.” Sung quickly spun back around to fly the ship. “We should be seeing the shop soon... Phobos cut power to the thrusters when I tell you... NOW!”

Phobos pulled back on a lever and the ship screeched to a halt. As they stopped, a meteor appeared in front of them.

“Here we are! Phobos, you wanna wake up Havve, I’ll set down the ship.” Sung said. 

“Sure.” Phobos got out of his seat and walked down the hall towards Havve’s room. He knocked on his door, but got no response. He slowly opened the door and peered inside. He saw Havve how he left him, slumped in the corner, still plugged into the wall. His eyes blinked on and off, signifying that he was plugged into his charger. Phobos walked over to him and looked at the wire plugged into the back of his head. He pulled it out, and Havve’s eyes stopped blinking. For a moment, Phobos was scared he killed him, until his eyes blinked back on. Havve then looked around and then focused on Phobos. 

“Hey Havve. Are you good?” Phobos asked.

Havve gave a thumbs up.

“So um. Last night...” Phobos trailed off.

Havve nodded.

“Thanks.”

Havve got up and looked at Phobos, before pulling him for a hug. Phobos couldn’t really refuse being dragged into it, as Havve was much stronger than him. After a couple moments, Havve let go and held Phobos by the shoulders, staring into his visor.

“So uh... we’re at the place for your voicebox, you ready to get a voice?” Phobos asked.

Havve nodded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Meouch, will you help me grab some stuff?” The green lights faded away as the ship set down in front of the shop.

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?” Meouch yelled.

“Oh yeah, I only showed Phobos. It was my technomancy don’t worry! Just some good ol’ fashioned dark magic and mad science, nothin’ to be worried about.” Sung explained.

“Sure... so, what’re we goin’ to get?” Meouch asked.

“Oh just some stuff from the cargo bay, the guy only deals in trades, so I brought him some stuff.” Sung explained.

The cargo bay, where all his bad funk was. Meouch had to keep him from finding it. “Uh, sure thing dude.”

Meouch and Sung walked to the cargo bay in awkward silence. 

“So... what’s the bar called?” Sung said, breaking the silence once they got there.

“Oh, The Messy Hammer. It’s a cool place, no idea why it’s called that.” Meouch said, positioning himself in front of his crates.

“Oh, nice. Where’d I leave that...” Sung started cracking open crates and peeking in. He went through all of them and got closer and closer to Meouch. He stopped at one of the crates near Meouch. “Hey! Come take a look!” Sung called Meouch over, and Meouch nervously made his way over. Inside was a large sphere with various antennas coming off of it, along with some other miscellaneous items. “This is a rare old assistance droid, help me carry it will you?”

“Got it.” Meouch stopped screaming inside. They both grabbed an end of a crate and lifted and shuffled out the back of the ship.

The outside of the shop looked like a ramshackle shack, but once they were inside, it looked much bigger than the outside. It was littered with various mechanical parts, some placed neatly on shelves, some hanging off the ceiling, and some scattered across a counter just left of the entrance. In the front of the entrance at the back of the store was a door covered by a curtain. Behind the desk was a green, spherical being with a single massive eye in the middle of its body. The body had numerous tentacles coming off of it, all of which were doing various tasks.

“Heya, Houskins!” Sung yelled as he and Meouch barged in.

“Ssssung... you’ve brought friendsssss.” Houskins said.

“Sure did! Drop it on the counter Meouch.” Sung and Meouch dropped their crate on Houskins’ counter.

Meouch looked at Houskins. “Hey, you’re one of those guys from that nerd game!”

Houskins sneered at Meouch. “The Beholdersssss are basssed on my speeeciesssss, yessssss.” He then turned to look at Sung. “Sssso, you’re finally doing it?”

“Yeah! In the next few days, I will have The Device in possession!” Sung exclaimed.

“Well, what do you need now Sssssung?” Houskins said.

“Oh well, you remember that robot I was, actually...” Sung turned to Meouch. “...can you go grab Phobs and Hogan?”

Meouch nodded and left the shop.

“Sssso, what did you want?” Houskins asked Sung.

“A voicebox for my new friend!” Sung said.

“Hmm... a compatible one could be rare... what did you bring me?”

“Something I thought you would like.” Sung pried open the crate and revealed the droid, and sitting next to Houskins, it was clear why Sung brought it.

“Have you brought thisssss to mock me Sssssung?” 

“No no no! Of course not! I just thought you’d appreciate the likeness!” 

“You’re lucky itsssss valuable.”

“Wouldn’t have brought it if it wasn’t!” Sung said as the gang came through the doors. Houskins immediately floated over to Havve and looked him up and down.

“My... Ssssung, you did a wonderful job on this one.” As Houskins examined him, Havve leaned back and looked at Sung. Sung came over to the group and patted Houskins.

“Hey man, give him some space.” 

“Ssssorry, he ssssuch a fassssinating sssspecimen...” Houskins floated away and noticed the other interesting figure in the room. “Lord Phobossss, your people were honorable, and advanced the field of roboticssss. My ssssinceresssst apologiessss.” Houskins held two of his tentacles together. He then floated next to Phobos and put a tentacle on his shoulder, and pointed towards the door at the back of the room. “Help yoursssself to whatever you want in the back room.”

Phobos looked to Sung, who nodded encouragingly. Phobos slowly walked to the back room and entered. 

Houskins floated in front of the rest of them. “The ressst of you are not allowed.”

“Well hey...” Sung said. “...can Meouch here go look at the supplies? We could use a top off.”

“Ssssure. I’m feeling generoussss. Go look behind the counter.” 

“Coolio.” Meouch went to the room behind the counter. A distant “Holy Shit” was heard.

“Now...” Houskins turned back to Havve. “...let’ssss find thissss robot a voiccce.” He rubbed some of his tentacles together.

Houskins got close to Havve, and kept his eye open wide. “Interessssting. He still containssss biological noise makerssss. Luckily, I have some disssscarded cyborgssss we can look at.” Houskins led them down one alley and examined some of the skeletal robots the same way he looked at Havve. Then with his tentacles, he began surgically dissecting one’s neck, tearing out parts of its neck, until they triumphantly held a small mechanical box in their hands. Sung cringed at the robot being torn apart, while Havve was somewhat impressed. Houskins turned to the both of them.

“Sssso, will I have the honor of insssstalling thissss new hardware? I would do it for free even.” 

“No... I’ll be able to handle it Houskins, but thanks for the offer.” Sung said.

“Well, allow me to ssssend you on your way with some toolssss, I have everything you could need.”

“Well, I suppose I could use a new...” Sung started before Havve tapped him on his shoulder. When Sung turned to look at him, he was shaking his head no. “...Yeah no, we can handle it, but thanks anyways buddy.”

“Well, if you ssssay sssso, take your friendssss and you can be on your way.” Houskins mood had soured considerably from a moment ago.

“Yeah... MEOUCH, PHOBOS!!!” Sung yelled. “WE OUTTA HERE!!” 

Soon enough Phobos emerged from the backroom with his hands full of clothes. Meouch took a moment longer, but came out carrying several stacked boxes of food.

“Alright well, meet me in the ship, I gotta put this shit down.” Meouch said. “Wanna come put down your fashion collection Phobs?”

“You’re gonna thank me later Jazzlan.” Phobos said as he pushed pass Meouch.

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” Meouch followed Phobos out the shop.

Sung and Havve turned towards Houskins, who was passing the voicebox between his tentacles. 

“So...” Sung said.

“Yessss?” Houskins asked innocently.

“You haven’t given us the voice box, you’re just messing with it still.”

“Oh, yessss, yesss, my apologiessss. Here you go, I am here for any further assssssistance you need Ssssung. Ssssee you ssssoon.” Houskins pressed the voicebox into Sung’s hands, and then floated off into the room behind the counter. 

Sung turned back to Havve and shrugged, “Houskins has always been weird. You ready to go?”

Havve nodded enthusiastically, and he and Sung walked back to the ship. Once they were both inside, Sung turned to ask Havve something.

“So, are you ready for a voice?”

Havve gave a thumbs up.

“Sweet, let’s tell the others.”

They found Meouch and Phobos in the main meeting room. The things they brought were piled on the table.

“The Wild Rocker Party?” Phobos said.

“No dude, that name sucks.” Meouch said.

“I like the Party bit.” Sung chimed in.

“Oh hey, Sung!” Meouch said. “We don’t know where to put all this shit, we haven’t seen most of the ship yet.”

“I’m keeping most of this pile, but I would like to know where to put the leftovers.” Phobos said about his pile of clothes.

“Well...” Sung said. “...would you like to see a new room?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sung led everyone to a room in the depths of the ship. It was fluorescent white, with a cabinet in the corner, and a table that stood in the very center of the room. Around it were various monitors that weren’t currently displaying anything, along with several smaller tables. It was by far the cleanest room on the ship.

“What the hell is this room?” Meouch asked.

“The surgery room!” Sung explained a bit too excitedly.

“Surgery room?” Phobos asked.

“Well yeah! It’s for surgery, right now for Havve’s voicebox, for another thing later, and of course for if anything tragic happens!” Sung explained. As he did, Havve walked over to the table.

“You have experience with surgery?” Phobos asked.

“Well yeah, I had to fix Havve up.” Sung said, followed by a clunk behind him. Havve was laying on the table. “Well, you’re ready for this aren’t you?” 

Havve shot up a thumbs up.

“Well alright, let’s go!” Sung turned to his other two friends. “You don’t have to stay for this, it won’t be bad, but I understand if you don’t wanna see.”

“Nah, I’m curious enough to see.” Meouch said.

“I’ll stay for Havve.” Phobos said.

“Well alright! Can one of you go grab a container from the cabinet?” Sung asked, and Phobos nodded and walked over. “Havve, you wanna go under for this? It might sting a little.”

Havve shook his head no.

“Metal. You ready?”

Havve nodded.

“Alright, Phobos, can you set that down over here?” Sung gestured to a small table next to him. Phobos came over and put the tupperware down, and backed up a little.

Sung held his hands over Havve’s neck, and the same green light and smoke appeared. With a creaking noise, a panel in the front of Havve’s neck opened. Inside was a terrible rusted mechanical box. Sung muttered to himself, and the green glow began to envelope it. Havve clutched his fists. Slowly, wires began to disconnect themselves, until it was completely disconnected, and began to float out, and was placed in the container. Then Sung placed the new voicebox in Havve’s throat, and wires began to plug themselves in, but not enough to fully connect. Sung cussed under his breath, and the green smoke turned red. Sung began chanting. "Vox, Sonus, Mortuus, Vita, Vox, Sonus, Mortuus, Vita, Vox, Sonus, Mortuus, Vita...” Slower than the wires, veins and sinew began connecting and wrapping around the voicebox. Havve was gripping the sides of the table, bending it in his grasp. The smoke then quickly turned green and Havve’s neck panel closed. Havve shot straight up on the table. Everyone jumped back.

“Havve..?” Sung took a tenuous step forward. “Are you ok? Does it hurt?”

Havve cracked his neck and looked at Sung. “IT BARELY FUCKING TICKLED.”


	4. The No Pants Dance

“Holy shit! That was crazy!” Meouch yelled.

“YES. YES IT WAS.” Havve scooted off the table, and was immediately surrounded.

“You’re sure everything is fine Havve? It mostly went well but I sorta rushed the ending and I want to make sure you’re ok.” Sung went on and on to Havve.

“EVERYTHING IS FINE DOCTOR. I PROMISE.” Havve said to Sung, before turning to Phobos.

“How does it feel having a voice?” Phobos asked.

“IT FEELS. IT FEELS AS IF A WEIGHT HAS BEEN LIFTED. ALSO I DO NOT NEED TO DUMB DOWN MY IDEAS ANYMORE. SO PRETTY GOOD.”

Phobos chuckled under his mask. “Well I’m happy for you!”

“Hey, me too bud!” Meouch inserted himself into the conversation. “And I know exactly how to celebrate, ain’t that right Sung?”

“Oh yeah, Meouch is right!” Sung backed away from the group to make an announcement. “Boys! Get ready for a night of fun and revelry! We’re goin’ to The Messy Hammer, and playing our first gig!”

“WHAT.” Havve said in disbelief.

“Oh yeah, you weren’t there Hogan. This was all Meouch’s idea, which I wholeheartedly endorse! It’s a good chance to see how we mesh together!” Sung explained.

“DOCTOR, YOU HAVE NOT THOUGHT THAT FAR AHEAD.” 

“Thank you for saying it Havve, I didn’t want to be rude.” Phobos said.

“Wait, what do you mean?” Sung asked.

“SUNG. WHAT IS OUR BAND NAME.”

“Oh well uh...” Sung looked at Meouch and Phobos. “You guys think of anything?”

“Total Warfare Remix Punch.” Meouch grinned. “I got a million of them.”

“I liked ‘The Wild Rocker Party’...” Phobos said.

“Maybe we could do an acronym, those are cool...” Sung thought aloud.

“GOT IT.” Havve grabbed the container with his old voicebox and threw it to Sung. “WHAT IS THE CONTAINER?” He asked.

“Tupperware..?” Sung responded.

Havve pointed at Meouch. “WORD THAT STARTS WITH R.”

Meouch thought for a second. “Remix.”

Havve pointed at Phobos. “LAST WORD.”

“Party?” Phobos said.

“THAT’S OUR NAME. TUPPERWARE REMIX PARTY. OR TEE DOUBLE U ARE PEE. OR TWRP.”

“Well, it’s unique.” Meouch chuckled.

“I like it!” Phobos said.

“And it was a group effort!” Sung mouthed it a few times. “Yes, TWRP, it just feels right! Now, TWRP, do we have any songs?”

Everyone looked at each other in expectation.

“Maybe we could cover a song?” Phobos suggested.

“Brilliant idea! We can write songs later! Now, any ideas?” Sung asked.

Again, everyone just looked at each other in expectation until Havve spoke up.

“THE NO PANTS DANCE.”

“What? No! That song blows chunks!’ Meouch protested.

“I’m partial to it...” Phobos admitted.

“I could lay down some good synth work for it, and it looks like we all know it already.” Sung said.

“No! I refuse! Besides, we don’t have a singer!” Meouch said.

“You guys wanna see something else cool?” Sung gestured for everyone to follow him. They followed him to the door of his room, where Sung slipped in and brought out a tube attached to a keyboard. He stuck the tube in his mouth and started playing the keys.

“ _Girl I like the way that you dance when you dance like the way that you dance when you dance with your pants oooooooffff._ ” Sung took the tube out his mouth and looked for approval.

“Well it’s a neat gimmick...” Meouch admitted.

“AH HA! WE’RE DOIN’ IT!” Sung yelled. “Everyone go practice, I’ll steer us to the bar!” Sung took off towards the cockpit, and left the rest of the band to fend for themselves.

“. . . LET’S GO PRACTICE. I WILL BE IN THE MEETING AREA.” Havve said.

“Can’t believe I’m doin this shit...” Meouch grumbled and walked to his room to grab his bass.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Wow! You guys sounded great!” Sung walked in as practice was ending. “We’re going to be great!”

“Probably even better if we have a lead in the song.” Meouch said.

“I apologize that I was not able to join the first TWRP rehearsal, but believe me, if you guys are ready, we have nothing to worry about! After all, this blackbelt isn’t for nothing.” Sung nodded his head towards them.

“Are... are you winking?” Phobos asked.

“Yeah?” Sung answered tentatively. “Why, did I do it wrong?”

“WE CANNOT SEE THROUGH YOUR VISOR SUNG.” Havve answered.

Sung reached up to touch his visor. “Oh yeah! Nearly forgot, good thing I’m used to it already. Anyways! We’re here everybody! Are you excited!?! I know I am!”

Phobos took off his guitar. “I’m excited to see how people react to all of this.” Phobos gestured to him and his bandmates. “And well, I have to hand it to you Sung, you found a great guitar for me to play.”

“Aw, shucks, thanks Phobos.” Sung turned to Meouch. “I trust that your bass is still functioning at full capacity?”

“You know it!” Meouch said as he was packing up his bass.

“And your drum pad is working alright Havve?” Sung asked.

“IT WILL WORK.” Havve answered.

“Well alright! I think we’re all ready to perform!” Sung exclaimed.

“Soooo...” Meouch began. “You guys mind settin’ up? I got some business to attend to.”

“WHAT ELSE COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE DOING?” Havve asked.”

“Yeah, not to be so abrasive...” Sung nudged Havve. “...But what do you have to do?”

“Uhh y’know...” Meouch scrambled for something to say. “...I gotta let the guys know that we’re goin’ to play, and y’know... other stuff...” Meouch trailed off.

Havve walked up to Meouch and stared down at him. “JUST SAY YOU HAVE TO TAKE A SHIT.”

Phobos let out a surprised laugh that he immediately tried to cover up.

Meouch looked up at Havve for a moment. “Gee, you really know how to read someone huh?”

“And you know how to act super suspicious! Nothing wrong with that, just let us know next time!” Sung said. “You got us all worried! But alright, you go ahead, we’ll be waiting ready to play!”

“Alright, see ya dudes in a sec.” Meouch left the ship and headed to the bar. This was the first solid he walked on that wasn’t an asteroid in a couple days. The bar was pretty much the only landmark left on this mostly abandoned planet which was mined away of anything useful ages ago. The Messy Hammer stayed profitable, partially because it was the nicest place in this stretch of nothing, and partially because it was a good meeting spot for less than legal activities. Meouch walked in and reveled in finally being in a familiar situation, finally being on his turf.

It was a relatively large bar, lots of tables dotted around, a stage coming out of the right wall, and the actual bar coming out the left. It was stocked with every beverage imaginable, most of which were claimed to “fall out the sky”. However, despite its size, it was never full, but always did have a middling crowd. Meouch walked through it to reach the bar and speak to the bartender behind it.

“Heyo Eddi.” Meouch leaned against the bar. “You’re cutting the limes too thin.”

“So I’ve heard. We’re going to vote on the issue soon.” An elven figure with dark pink skin and 6 eyes turned to face Meouch. “Back again?”

“Yeah, actually goin’ to go on stage with some friends later.” Meouch said.

Eddi raised an eyebrow. “Oh you are, are you?”

“Hey man, I actually got a pretty good group together to perform tonight.”

“Alright, cool cover story. Why are you actually here?” Eddi asked.

“Y’know me, I’m a businessman.”

Eddi chuckled. “That’s a word for it.”

“Actually though, it’s going to be my last deal for a while. I like this group I’ve found.”

“Is Fang gonna be alright with that?” 

“Nah, but he’s already pissed at me, I’m probably doing the right thing not coming around.”

“Fair enough.” Eddi started going back to her duties. “You and your friends can play, better be good though.”

“Can’t say I love the song, but it’ll still be the best thing you hear this week.”

“Good. Be careful with your deal, don’t want to lose one of my regulars.” Eddi said.

Meouch got off the bar. “I’ll be fine, I always am. Oh yeah hey, you’ll know my friends when you see them.” Meouch walked towards the back of the room where the bathrooms were. He entered and went inside a stall. Once he was inside, he pressed a part of the wall, and the wall spun around, allowing Meouch to head outside to the back of the bar. He leaned on the wall and waited. Soon enough someone came and leaned next to him. He was mostly humanoid but notably had an eye with a scar over it, half pig, and wearing a UDL uniform.

“You S.P.’s guy?” Meouch turned to face the pig man.

“Sure am. You got the stuff?” The pig man responded.

“It’s close enough. Do you have the money?” Meouch asked.

“It’s close enough.” The pig man sneered.

“Hey man, I’ve done deals with Porca before, you can trust me.” Meouch said.

“Yeah, we know.” Someone from behind Meouch said. Meouch turned to see who it was. It was a nasty looking guy, who clearly had done some dirty jobs in his past, and wasn’t planning on quitting any time soon. He was red and fit, looking like if Satan had been on a workout kick recently.

“Heyyy, Rovons...” Meouch said very unexcitedly.

“Hey Meouch. You lookin’ to unload some product without the Boss’ permission?” Rovons said.

“Just some surplus, I’ve done it before.” Meouch said.

“Yeah but this is different, and we all know it.” Rovons said.

“So, what’s the problem then?” Meouch asked. 

“Your new funk is very interesting to our groups, and we’d like it back.” Rovons explained.

“Ok, who is we?”

“Oh Meouch, the Blood Diamonds are just a front. Bet you’ve never heard of the Haters have you?”

“Uh, no. But I assume I wouldn’t like them.” Meouch said. He then felt a gun press against the back of his head.

“No, you wouldn’t.” Rovons said.

Meouch ducked and punched the wall, which spun around, allowing Meouch to run inside just as a gun went off behind him.

“Shitshitshitshitshit-” Meouch mumbled as he rushed through the bathroom. He burst out and saw his bandmates wrapping up their set up.

“FINALLY.” Havve said as he saw Meouch run towards them.

“Man, must’ve been pretty bad in there.” Sung joked. “Well, I hope you’ve recovered, we’re boutta begin!”

“Hey no, Sung, we gotta go!” Meouch said in a hushed yell.

“What? No? We’re about to start man, we can’t leave now!” Sung said.

“Listen man we have to-” Meouch started.

“This was your idea Meouch! We’ll deal with whatever it is later.” Sung said before turning back to his setup.

Meouch scanned the stage. Sung was checking his keys, Havve was adjusting something on his drum pad, and Phobos idly strummed his guitar. Meouch looked next to him and saw his bass sitting there, before looking at Sung and Havve again. Then he remembered the two guys out back. They were alot bigger than those two. Besides, it was 4 vs. 2, excluding the bar patrons he vaguely recognized. Despite its name, the Messy Hammer did have a no indoor fighting policy, which might save them right now. Meouch’s safest bet was probably to play along with the band, so he put on his bass and got ready.

“Hello fine patrons of the Messy Hammer...” Sung announced into his mic. “We are TWRP! And this our first performance in the universe! We are here to play just one song for you tonight, and it's a cover. But! We here at TWRP hope that it will blow your pants off!”

As Sung spoke, Meouch noticed the pigman and Rovons had entered through the front and saw what was happening. Rovons chuckled, and they both sat to watch the show. The next thing Meouch heard was Havve’s drumsticks hitting each other. And then he thought: “Shit, this starts with a bass solo.”

The backing track started from somewhere he was unsure of, Havve began drumming and Meouch slapped his bass. When he looked to his left, he saw Sung with something he failed to notice until now: a keytar. Despite how ridiculous the pylon man with a keytar looked, he played it excellently, while swooping it up and down. He looked to Phobos, who was similarly entranced, and they both nodded and joined in Sung’s rhythmic swings. Then the song slowed down, and Sung rushed to the box and tube in front of him and put the tube in his mouth. 

“ _Giiirl yoouu knooow, yoouu knooow giiirlll, giiirlll yeeaahh yoouu, giiirlll yoouu know that way”_

As Sung sang out the opening lines, Meouch looked out into the crowd, and saw that the faces of Rovons and pigman were contorting in what looked like disgust. He walked to the front of the stage playing his bass, and saw them lean back slightly.

“Huh.” Meouch thought. “Maybe this isn’t such a bad song after all.” He could feel excitement fill his body, and as the chorus was about to begin, he jumped off the ground. while slapping his bass. It was at that moment, Meouch decided to really ham it up on his bass.

_“Girl, I like the way that you dance, when you dance, like the way that you dance, when you dance with your pants off”_

Meouch and Phobos looked at each other again and nodded.

“ _I like the way that you dance, when you dance, like the way that you dance, when you dance with your pants off”_

This line of the chorus was punctuated with Phobos and Meouch bouncing up and down in sync, before kicking in the air.

“ _I like the way that you dance, when you dance, like the way that you dance, when you dance with your pants girl”_

Meouch looked back towards his adversaries in the crowd and saw that their condition had worsened, looking like they were in pain.

“ _I like the way that you dance, when you dance, like the way that you dance, when you dance with your pants off”_

Meouch stuck his tongue out at them. The song began to slow down again. As Sung began the next verse, Meouch walked to the front of the stage again, and made sure his bass was heard.

“ _Giiirl yoouu knooow, yoouu knooow giiirlll, giiirlll yeeaahh yoouu, giiirlll yoouu know that way”_

As the verse ended, Sung reached for his keytar, and he, Phobos, and Meouch bounced backwards together. They then began doing their swoop motion with their instruments once again. Meouch looked towards his enemies, and saw that the pigman looked like was he was going to be sick, getting greener and greener with every swoop. As the trio’s section came to an end, they pointed back to Havve, who had a miniature drum solo.

“ _Looooove thaaaat daaaance, giiiiiirllll its your chaaance-”_

Phobos walked over next to Meouch and they leaned on each other.

“ _No Pants Dance.”_

As soon as Sung sang that out, Phobos and Meouch stood towards the audience, and Phobos began his guitar solo, which was one of the best Meouch had heard. This time Meouch looked towards Rovons, and even though he was in better shape than the pigman, he still looked like he had eaten his least favorite food. It then occurred to Meouch that maybe he should focus on the rest of the crowd, and he was glad he did. It was the most lively that he had ever seen the place, which wasn’t saying to much considering it was a depressing hole most of the time, but the song had gotten people out of their seats and standing. While they weren’t quite dancing, Meouch could tell that crowd was moving with the rhythm, with even Eddi bobbing to the beat back behind the bar. Their eyes met for a moment, and Meouch sent her a wink, and Eddi laughed it off and continued to clean cups behind the bar. Soon enough, Meouch heard Havve’s drums again, and then heard Sung play on his keytar. Phobos walked back to his side of the stage.

_“Girl, I like the way that you dance, when you dance, like the way that you dance, when you dance with your pants off”_

Rovons and the pigman were leaning on each other.

“ _I like the way that you dance, when you dance, like the way that you dance, when you dance with your pants off”_

Phobos and Meouch kicked the air again. Every word that was sung, every note that was played, the air itself was filled with so much energy.

“ _I like the way that you dance, when you dance, like the way that you dance, when you dance with your pants girl”_

The crowd in the bar was bouncing with the rhythm.

“ _I like the way that you dance, when you dance, like the way that you dance, when you dance with your pants off”_

Sung pointed towards Rovons and the pigman, before pointing generally towards the audience. The pigman’s ears started letting purple smoke out.

“ _I like the way that you dance, when you dance, like the way that you dance, when you dance with your pants off”_

Everyone was playing as loud and as hard as they could.

“ _I like the way that you dance, when you dance, like the way that you dance, when you dance with your pants off”_

Rovons and the pigman were leaning on each other, stumbling out the door. The music cut out.

_“Girl, I like the way that you dance, when you dance, like the way that you dance, when you daaance with your paaaaaaaaaants ooooooooooooooff”_

This was punctuated by the sound of a pop and a thud right outside the bar’s doors, moments before cheers from the crowd engulfed the room. Sung got back to his mic and spoke in his regular voice again.

“Everyone, you have been a wonderful crowd! Thank you so much! We have been TWRP! I am Doctor Sung, to my right is Lord Phobos, behind me is Havve Hogan, and to my left is someone you may know... Commander Meouch.”

From behind the bar, Eddi yelled. “Me-ouch! Me-ouch! Me-ouch!”

Soon enough, the whole bar had joined in. “ME-OUCH! ME-OUCH! ME-OUCH! ME-OUCH! ME-OUCH!”

Soon enough Havve began playing along to the beat of the chant, which prompted Phobos and Sung to join in too. This went on for a few moments before Sung put his fingers to his lips and pointed to Meouch. Not prepared to play something on the spot, Meouch played The Lick and the hushed excitement of the room. Laughs went up, as well as a joking boo from Eddi. After it died down, Sung called the group to come next to him, and arm in arm, TWRP took their first bow. Cheers went up a second time, and after they died, there was still life in the bar that wasn’t there before the show. As they began to pack up, Sung whispered something to Havve, and Havve went out the door. Then Sung came over to Meouch. 

“Hey, me and Phobos can finish packing up if you wanna say goodbye to anyone.” Sung nodded his head to the bar.

“You sure?” Meouch asked.

“Yeah! Go have a good time!” Sung patted Meouch’s back before going to help Phobos with packing up. Meouch walked off stage and got whooped at a few times before he made it to the back of the bar.

“H’suh dude?” Meouch said to Eddi, who watched him come to the bar.

“Oh shut up.” Eddi laughed. “You weren’t lying earlier, that was the best thing I’ve heard in a long time. Nothing that good has been played here since you stopped playing here.”

“Aw, you flatter me Eddi.” Meouch smiled.

“So, I take it the deal didn’t go well, considering I saw Rovons and a UDL chase in here after you?”

“Yeah well, I took care of it.”

“Apparently, they looked sick as hell walking out of here.”

“It’s the power of music baby.”

Eddi chuckled. “Yeah, sure it is.” 

Meouch looked back at Sung finishing packing up, and thought about how he pointed at Rovons before they left. “You never know.” Meouch mumbled.

Eddi matched his gaze. “So, what’s the deal with these guys? They your new gang?”

Meouch turned back to Eddi and leaned on the bar. “Eh, guess so, but gang isn’t quite the right word for it. I think I’m finally hanging with good guys.”

Eddi looked surprised but then smiled. “Really?”

“Well, Sung has us huntin’ fairy tales, but TWRP has a good cause. Fightin’ the good fight and all that.”

Eddi smiled a smile that warmed up the bar. “I’m happy for you Jazzlan.”

“Aww, don’t get soft on me Eddi girl, I’m leavin’ right after this.”

“I know, it’s just good to hear that you’re... in less trouble now.” 

“Movin’ on up in the universe finally.”

“Sure are...”

Meouch and Eddi both sighed.

“Well...” Eddi said. “I don’t mean to hold you up. It was nice seein’ you Commander.”

“Good seein’ you too Captain, I’ll come play here again one day.” Meouch said.

“You better, I’ll make you pay your tab then!” Eddi joked.

Meouch shot off the bar. “Welp, time to go!”

“Oh, fuck you!”

Meouch laughed, and began walking out the bar. “Later Eddi!”

“Later Meouch!” Eddi called after him. She watched Meouch walk out the doors, and sighed, and then got back to work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meouch was the last on board the ship and walked in on Phobos and Sung chatting it up.

“Ah! Meouch!” Sung ran to Meouch and gave him a hug.

Meouch wasn’t ready and stumbled back a little. “Heya Doc.”

Sung let go and practically bounced around the room. “Guys! That was amazing! I’m so proud of us!”

“That was pretty cool.” Phobos said. “We make a good rhythm section Meouch.”

“Hell yeah we do!” Meouch said. “When you came over and played your solo, that was amazing! And then how we were in sync!”

“I can’t believe we knew to both kick during the chorus.” Phobos said.

“I didn’t know I could even kick that high!” Meouch said.

“Oh, it’s awesome right?” Sung rhetorically asked before going for a high kick.

“It was actually!” Meouch said. “Coolest bit though had to be when we were all doing that swooping thing together.”

“I’m so happy you guys joined me for that!” Sung said.

“I’m impressed we played that well considering we practiced one time, and without Sung.” Phobos said.

“What’d I tell you Phobs? We’re the most powerful rockers in the universe! And this confirms it! TWRP: the most powerful band in existence!” Sung said. 

Meouch was still thinking of choreography. “Man, y’know what else was cool? When we all pointed at Havve for his solo.” Meouch then looked around the room and noticed a lack of giant robots. “Hey where is ol’ Mr. Hogan anyways?”

“Oh! He’s down in the surgery room doin’ something. Sung said.

“Surgery room?” Phobos asked. “Doing what?”

“He’s... well... I guess it’d be easier to show you.” Sung said and then immediately turned around and started walking.

Meouch and Phobos looked at each and shrugged before following Sung.

“How goes it Havve?” Sung yelled before entering the surgery room.

“HOW DO YOU THINK.” Havve yelled back.

Phobos and Meouch were a couple of steps behind Sung and they didn’t see why Havve was annoyed until they entered the room. Havve was next to the center table, covered in blood. There was a body on the table that Meouch recognizes as the pigman UDL officer he tried dealing with, except now his head was gone.


	5. The Device Pt 1

Phobos screamed.

“Woah, woah! Calm down! Let me explain!” Sung yelled, positioning himself between Meouch and Phobos and the headless corpse behind him. Havve stood next to it and continued examing it,

“That’s the Pigman from the bar...” Meouch said. 

Sung glared at him. “Yes. Yes, it is.” Sung said the most annoyed he had sounded since he met Meouch. Meouch could feel Sung looking at him from underneath his visor. Sung looked back to Meouch and sighed.

“Ok, so, we had a great show team! Don’t forget that!” Sung said enthusiastically before getting serious again. “However. While I scanned the crowd during the show, I detected the presence of two Haters in the crowd, a devilman, and the pigman here. Luckily, they did not seem to realize that our show was the most dangerous for them to be. Our music and groove are one of the greatest weapons the forces of Boredom.”

Meouch slowly started putting pieces together in his mind. “Wait, so, those guys were agents of boredom?”

“Yes.” Sung said. “Our music was strong enough to dispatch of this Hater, but the other one was strong enough to escape.”

“Why were they there?” Phobos asked.

“ASK MEOUCH." Havve said, continuing his examination of the body.

“What...?” Phobos looked at Meouch.

“Yes, Commander.” Sung took a step towards Meouch. “It seems these Haters were here because of you. They came inside right after you did, and you kept looking at them during the song. Would you like to explain?” 

Meouch felt everyone’s eyes digging into him. “Ah, well...” Meouch looked at Phobos, who, even with his mask off, looked shocked and confused. “Alright, I gotta come clean.” Meouch sighed. “Look, I have around a dozen crates of that Boredom Funk stuff in the cargo hold.”

“YOU WHAT.”

“Seriously?”

“Why?”

“When I took it, I didn’t know how screwed up it was! But once I did, I was trying to get rid of it! I was going to sell it off to the UDL, but that didn’t work out...”

“Wait, wait, wait. The UDL?” Sung asked.

“Oh yeah, they’re crazy corrupt dude. Especially S.P. and his gang.”

“I knew that, but I didn’t think that they would be in league with the Haters...” 

“Apparently, the Diamond Blooddrops are too. That’s what Rovons said.” Meouch said.

“ROVONS?” Havve asked.

“The devil guy. He’s the boss’ right-hand man, so Fang is probably one too. And Fang is buddy-buddy with S.P., so maybe parts of the UDL too.” Meouch explained.

"Wow." Sung paused. "...That is extraordinarily fucked."

"Yeah..." Meouch sighed. He saw Phobos still staring at him.

"You didn't know?" Phobos asked coldly.

"What? No, I've just figured it out right now."

"Why did you bring the funk? Why did you hide it after you knew what it was?" Phobos stepped towards Meouch.

"What else was I supposed to do? I didn't know I could trust you guys!" 

"I don't know if we can trust you. You knew that funk destroyed my planet before you brought it aboard!" Phobos jammed a finger into Meouch's chest. "But you still did it and didn't tell us! You tried to sell it to people you knew were corrupt!"

"Yeah, but it'd be safer in their hands than some gang! They can't use it all willy nilly!"

"They're freaking Haters! At least according to you!'

Meouch paused and tried to come up with a retort before looking at Phobos. With the bright lights in the room, he could just barely see his eyes underneath his visor and how filled with rage and sadness they were. "I... I'm sorry."

Phobos faltered in his accusations. "What?"

"I'm sorry. I fucked up. I should've told you guys about the funk. I didn't think I had anyone to turn to, but I should've turned to my friends."

The room was silent. After a moment, Phobos backed off and turned to face Sung. "So, what's the best course of action to dispose of the funk doctor?"

Sung wasn't expecting the conversation to be put back on him and took a moment to collect his thoughts. "Honestly, our best bet is probably to throw it in a sun. But then we would need enough power to make sure it doesn't possibly turn into an issue."

"Great, how do we get that power?" Phobos asked.

"Probably a couple places, but we are hunting for a source of infinite power anyway." Sung said.

"Let's go get the Device then." Phobos turned around and left the room.

After a moment, Sung turned to Havve. "You put the information on the computer already?"

"YES." Havve responded.

"Cool, well, I'm going to go help Phobos pilot; you guys have fun!" Sung said before leaving the room, leaving Havve and Meouch alone. Havve continued examining the pig-man's body.

“So uh, whatcha up to there, bud?” Meouch asked, breaking the silence.

“EXAMING FOR LEFTOVER TRACES OF BOREDOM." Havve responded.

“Ah, neat...” Meouch put himself next to Havve and looked at the body like he had any idea what he was looking at.

“YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING AT." Havve said after a moment.

“Yup. Need any help?”

“HAVE ANY MORE SECRETS?”

“Not any relevant ones.”

“THEN NO.”

Meouch glanced at the stairs leading out the room. “Yeah, but I think I’ll stick down here for a bit.”

Havve continued his work. “YOU KNOW. PHOBOS HAS GONE THROUGH ALOT THE PAST COUPLE DAYS. I THINK HE WANTS TO STAY WITH THIS WEIRD GROUP. BUT THEN YOU DESTROYED ANY TRUST YOU BUILT-UP WITH HIM.”

“Yeah, but-”

“HOWEVER.” Havve interrupted. “I DON’T THINK ANY OF US WERE EXPECTING YOU TO APOLOGIZE. HE SEEMED SURPRISED. I THINK YOU TWO WILL BE FINE WITH SOME TIME.”

“Really?”

“REALLY.”

“Man, you’re a good man, Hogan.”

“I KNOW.”

A few moments passed in silence.

“DO YOU WANT TO THROW THE BODY OUT THE AIRLOCK?” 

“Ohmygod, yes.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sung and Phobos sat beside each other, steering the ship throughout the vast emptiness before them. Not a word was said between them. It was very quiet.

After about an hour of flying, Sung finally broke the silence.

“So, whatcha thinking about over there, Phobos?” Sung asked.

“Nothing." Phobos replied bluntly.

“Ah... Well, personally, I was thinking about what to say to you. Didn’t go well, apparently.”

“Mhm.”

“Soooooooooooooo, whatcha gonna do after we get The Device?”

There a brief silence before Phobos responded. “What do you mean?”

“Oh well, I figured you were going to help get it since you’re helping me fly there and all. Say the word, and I’ll drop you off.” Sung said.

“No, I’m coming with you...” Phobos stared at the nothingness ahead of him.

“Well, that’s a relief.” Sung looked at Phobos and cracked a smile. “Woulda been kinda rude to make us turn around now.” Sung looked back out at the space ahead of him.

“What did you mean after?” Phobos asked again, a hint of urgency in his voice.

“Oh well, what’re your plans after all this?”

“I... I don’t know...” Phobos admitted.

“Is your bed comfortable?” Sung asked.

“I guess? Why?” Phobos asked.

“You’re free to stay in it if you want. A comfortable, safe bed isn’t the easiest thing to find in the universe.”

Phobos stayed silent.

Sung sighed. “Look, I’ll put my cards on the table. I hope you stay with us, Phobos. I know Meouch messed up, but you saw that he apologized. I was going to forgive him anyways, but that definitely made it easier. I can’t imagine he’s apologized much in his life, though. It was sorta shitty.”

Phobos chuckled. “Yeah, it was, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, but it’s the thought that counts, right?”

“Guess so...”

“I think we’re decent enough friends by now, and an even better band. And I gotta say, you’re the best guitar player in the band.”

Phobos laughed a little more. “You flatter me.”

Sung looked over again. “I’m bein’ honest here!”

Phobos turned to meet Sung’s gaze. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll stay.”

“Really?!?” 

“Yeah, where else am I going to get flattery like this?”

“You got me there. I am the best flatterer in the known universe.”

“And humility.”

“Hey! I’m just egotistical for everyone! You need a confidence boost; I’m your guy!”

Phobos and Sung laughed and went back to flying in a much more comfortable silence. After a few minutes, a red light started flashing on Phobos’ side of the console.

“Hey uh, we have a problem?” Phobos told Sung.

“Oh god, she’s been so good lately...” Sung looked over and saw the light.

“Something’s in the airlock?” Sung said. “I guess Havve is throwing something out. Ship! Show camera feed 27!”

A moment later, a video hologram appeared from the middle of the console, and in the middle of the airlock was a headless pigman.

“...Huh." Phobos commented.

The feed slowly swiveled and showed Meouch and Havve snickering behind the airlock door.

“You wanna scare them?” Sung asked Phobos.

“Absolutely." Phobos responded.

“Ship, show camera feed 26!” The hologram showed a view from behind Meouch and Havve. Sung eagerly watched. “Hit the green button underneath the red light, and make sure you're watching.”

Phobos put his hand over the button and turned towards the hologram. He pressed the button.

Meouch jumped back, and Havve shifted slightly as they watched the headless body got sucked out of the airlock and torn apart by space much earlier than they had intended. Meouch clutched his chest as Havve looked rapidly throughout the room. He then locked eyes with the camera and flipped it off. Sung and Phobos were howling with laughter and were still laughing when Havve and Meouch marched up to the cockpit.

“Friends!” Sung laughed out as he saw them walk in. “What can I do you for?”

“DIE." Havve responded and threw himself into the chair behind Sung.

“Oooh, sorry, is, *snirk* there, ha, anything else?” Sung said.

“Oh yeah, laugh it up, guys.” Meouch said annoyed, as he sat in the seat behind Phobos.

“Gladly.” Phobos said, and faced Meouch. “HAHAHAHAHA”

“Aw whatever...”

“Ok, ok, I’m actually glad you guys are here.” Sung said. “We’re getting pretty close to our destination. If you look outside, you may see nothing, but... Ship, bypass any stealth mechanisms in the view ahead.” 

The windshield flashed and then there was a small purple dot in the distance.

“That is a small moon that has lost its planet. If rumors are to be believed, the denizens of that planets had the most advanced technology in the universe, before they mysteriously disappeared, leaving behind only one relic of their civilization: The Device. The Device was their greatest creation, and was able to power their planet for generations. Now it is left to whoever is able to find it.”

“Hey, question.” Meouch said.

“Shoot.” Sung said.

“If you’re a millennia old time traveller, have you been to the planet?” Meouch asked.

“You’ve been paying attention, huh Commander?” Sung responded, flattered that his friend new so much about him. “Alas, no. I never made it in my youth, and the Time Crystal doesn’t allow me anywhere near it. I do think I had an uncle who moved there though.”

“Every time I learn something new about you I am more confused.” Meouch responded.

“That's what happens when you reach my age Commander.” Sung chuckled.

“I have a question as well.” Phobos said.

“What’s up?”

“What are we using The Device for?” Phobos asked.

“To assist in our fight against boredom!” Sung said as enthusiastically as ever.

“Yeah but, how?” Phobos asked.

“It will give us the power to accelerate our fight against boredom!” Sung said with slightly less confidence.

“HOW?” Havve asked. “I HAVE LOOKED AT ALL THE DATA YOU’VE GIVEN ME. THERE IS NO MENTION OF HOW THE DEVICE WILL BE PUT INTO USE.” 

“It’s a secret mission y’know? Didn’t want that data being hacked or anything.”

“Alright.” Meouch spoke up. “As someone who was just recently hiding something, let me put some pieces together. Admittedly, I haven’t seen most of the ship, but it doesn’t seem like there’s somewhere for a new power source. Havve?”

“THERE IS NOT.” Havve confirmed.

Meouch looked at Sung. “Yeah, so if it’s a power source, where are we plugging it... in.” Meouch looked at Sung’s chest armor. It seemed good enough, but something stood out about it: There was a hole in the middle of it, like something was supposed to go inside. “...No way.”

Sung got out his chair. “Now Commander, before you say anything, I-”

“You’re plugging it into yourself.” Meouch said.

Havve and Phobos both looked Sung up and down and saw the same hole in his armor.

“YOU TOLD ME YOU COULDN’T FINISH YOUR ARMOR.” Havve said while he got out of his seat, towering over Sung.

“Well, technically, I couldn’t...” Sung backed up into the console.

“If you have this unlimited power inside you, does this mean that you will also have unlimited power?” Phobos asked.

“Well, yes and no.” Sung said quickly, looking for any way to back up more.

“YOU WILL EXPLODE FROM THE RAW POWER. IF YOU DO NOT EXPLODE, YOU WILL CAUSE EVERYTHING ELSE TO.” Havve still loomed over Sung.

“Havve, buddy, you act like I don’t have a plan!” Sung said, regaining some confidence.

“EXPLAIN.”

“Alright, so...” Sung pointed up at his cone. “I know it looks very fashionable, but it has an alternative purpose.”

“WHICH IS?” Havve asked, still not backing off.

“When it turns on, it will become a power dampener strong enough to contain the power of The Device.”

Havve stared at Sung before taking a step back and crossing his arms. “FINE. HOW DO YOU PLAN ON GETTING THE DEVICE INSIDE OF YOU?”

Sung looked sheepishly at Havve. “Well, I was hoping you could help me out with that. No offense to Phobos and Meouch, but you’re the only one capable of performing the surgery Havve.”

Havve was silent for a moment. “YOU NEED TO STOP KEEPING PLANS TO YOURSELF.”

“Done. Full transparency here on out.” Sung said. “Soooo, will you help me?”

“UNFORTUNATELY, YES. I SUPPOSE IT IS FAIR BECAUSE YOU PERFORMED A LOT OF SURGERY ON ME.” Havve said.

“Whoa whoa whoa.” Meouch interrupted. “Not to be that guy, but isn’t this dangerous, putting pure energy in your chest?”

“Extremely, but we can handle it.” Sung said. “We’re professionals after all.”

Meouch looked to Phobos. “You got anything?”

Phobos bowed his head and crossed his arms. “I have already said that I will be staying and assisting Sung, so I’m afraid not.”

“Well, I hope I don’t have to watch you explode Doc.” Meouch said.

“Technically, you wouldn’t have to.” Sung responded. 

“What is that-” Meouch began.

“LOOK IDIOTS.” Havve pointed to the windshield. The purple dot was suddenly alot bigger.

“Oh, thanks Hogan!” Sung said as he took his seat again. “Everyone strap in, I have a feeling its going to be a bumpy landing.”

Everyone strapped in as told, as Sung and Phobos took the controls. The purple dot came closer and closer until it took up their whole view. As they flew closer to the surface, they saw grey clouds come into view, that crackled with pink electricity. The ship began to rumble around them.

“Shit.” Sung cursed under his breath. “‘Scuse me Phobos.” Sung began pouring green smoke from his hands, and as he did, his chair slid to the middle of the console, pushing Phobos to the edge of the console.. Things smoothed out for a moment, until the ship lurched right and began experiencing worse turbulence. 

“Havve, I might need some help.” Sung said, and as he did, Havve’s chair moved him to the right of Sung. He immediately began flicking switches, and the ship began descending smoothly again.

“Haha, yeah fuck you, we’re landing here.” Sung said as they passed by one of the numerous clouds. As they did, a crack of pink lighting was shot from the cloud and into the ship. Everything went dark except the view of the planet below. There was the shift of the ship going from flying to falling.

“Fuck I’m sorry!” Sung yelled, and grabbed at levers through the green smoke, but nothing reacted. “Havve, Meouch, start the backup generators!” 

Havve shot out of his chair and ran out of the room, followed closely by Meouch. He was led through the guts of the ship and went to a room with a sign overhead that read “Backup & TIME CRYSTAL”. It was a small circular room, covered with a mess of wires that led to two levers on the left and right side of the room. In the middle of the room, dominating anything else was a giant crystal that swirled with every color imaginable, illuminating the room. Surrounding it was a fence, with what looked like a keypad on the front, with wires and suction cups that connected it to the Time Crystal. Also beside the fence were two small mechanical boxes that smelled like gasoline, which were similarly connected to the Time Crystal.

“GO TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM AND PULL THE LEVER WHEN I TELL YOU TO.” Havve said as he ran to the left side of the room. He pulled the lever and after five seconds, he yelled “GO!”

Meouch pulled the lever and nothing happened.

“NOTHING WORKS ON THIS SHIP!” Have yelled.

Meouch looked at the Time Crystal and then at Havve. “Does that thing still work?”

“YES BUT NOW IS NOT THE TIME.” Havve said annoyedly.

“Exactly. Can we go back to when we had power?” Meouch asked.

Havve stared at Meouch before running to the keypad in front of the Time Crystal and entering numbers on the keypad. 

“THAT IS STUPID ENOUGH TO WORK. I HOPE IT DOES.” Havve pressed a few more buttons and the Time Crystal began to light up even more, it’s colors changing rapidly, and it gradually absorbed the whole ship, until Meouch couldn’t see anything but color. He felt sick, but the colors faded, and he saw light return to the rest of the ship. The ship lurched upwards and then gently lowered itself downwards until they felt it land on solid ground. Havve and Meouch walked back to the cockpit and saw Phobos leaning over the control console, and Sung standing in the middle of it, green smoke dissipating around him. He turned around to see them, and they could see that he was sweating profusely.

“I am happy that worked, but, logically, we should have imploded when you activated the Time Crystal. No idea why we didn’t!” Sung threw up his arms, revealing huge sweat stains. “Please let me know if something involving the Time Crystal is happening, please!”

“IT WAS MEOUCH’S IDEA.” Havve responded.

“Hey, wait-”

“It’s cool, don’t worry about it.” Sung patted Meouch’s shoulder, then gestured to the exit hatch. “Now, shall we?”

“Uh, is Phobos alright?” Meouch asked, seeing that Phobos was still leaning on the control console.

“I... hate... time travel.” Phobos said, and slowly got to his feet. “Remind me to puke later.”

“Will do bud.” Meouch said.

“Alright, let’s see what mess we’re in.” Sung said.

The door lowered, and the four of them stepped out into a dark purple planet, illuminated by the constant pink lightning in the sky. It was a rocky moon, with no signs of vegetation anywhere.

“Well, this is it guys. The Device is on this moon somewhere.” Sung said.

“Indeed it is.” A new voice said. It sounded oddly familiar to everyone, but especially Sung.

“Uh hello?” Sung greeted towards where he thought the voice came from.

Two figures emerged from behind the rocks ahead of the ship. They were both in shiny silver metal armor, with spiked pads on their elbows, knees, and shoulders. They both had helmets on with visors that completely hid their faces. The one on the left had a pistol, and the one on the right held a rifle. They both looked somewhat like bikers.

“Doctor Sung, Havve Hogan, Lord Phobos, and Jazzlan Meouch.” It sounded like the voice came from both of them simultaneously.

“It’s Commander Meouch but whatever...” Meouch grumbled.

“Welcome to Prototerra-2. We knew that you would come here for The Device. How successful you would be, we could not see, for you would face numerous obstacles.”

“Oh was it you who did...” Sung gestured to the sky. “All that?” 

“We have maintained some control over the atmosphere. Ingenious move using the Time Crystal to negate the effects.” The figures said.

“Oh why thank you!” Sung said, and Havve nudged him in the ribs.

“Before you can reach your prize however, you must face a challenge, one of your own making.” The figures said. The lightning stopped.

“What do you mean?” Sung asked before realizing what they meant.

The clouds parted, and dozens of ships poured through. Many of them had sirens on top, and others were painted blood red and diamond blue.

“Shit.” Meouch and Sung said in unison.

As the crowd of UDL and Diamond Blooddrops ships piled up, two extra armored ships bearing the UDL and Diamond Blooddrops logos respectively pulled to the front of the pack. Out of the UDL ship stepped out a giant pig man in a sheriff's outfit, and a robot in a pink suit with a computer monitor for a head. Next to them, a fit red devil and a ball of tentacles stepped out of the Blooddrops ship. The giant pig man was handed a megaphone by a smaller pigman.

“Attention criminals! You are being arrested, and if you do not submit, we will gladly use force!” Sheriff Porca yelled.

“Don’t submit! I look forward to killin’ ya!” Rovons yelled, staring at Meouch.

“I want the robot, he hassss ssssome partssss I’m interested in.” Houskins said to his cohorts.

“Attention Lord Phobos.” C’s voice cut through the crowd. “You have not been convicted of any crimes, however, if you stay over there, you will be convicted of aiding and abetting.”

“Yeah, girly’s got a point!” Porca began yelling in his microphone again. “Come with us and you’ll be fine! Stay with your friends and be arrested!”

TWRP looked at Phobos, who took a step forward towards the crowds of UDL and Blooddrops. 

“I, Lord Phobos, announce my allegiance with the group known as TWRP, and hereby absolve them of any crimes committed against my kind.”

Rovons and Porca looked at each other and began laughing. The laughter was picked up by the crowd behind them, turning it into a roar.

“Yeah, not sure if ya noticed, we’re not playin’ by the rules here son.” Porca said.

“You either give up, give us The Device, and anything else we want, or we slaughter you.” Rovons said.

“Hey, so...” Meouch started. “Boss know you’re threatening his number one funk dealer?”

“Oh, Meouch, you dumbass. You think the boss is keeping you around after all this shit?” Rovons yelled. “We control the funk trade, we just have to eliminate one small competitor now!”

Sung took a step forward this time. “Houskins, you’re really working with these guys?”

“The Devicccce is more intriguing than anything you ever brought me Ssssung. Bessssidessss, you led ussss right to it.” Houskins said, the chuckled to himself. “It wassss not eassssy fitting a tracker into ssssuch a ssssmall component.”

Havve grabbed at his neck.

“I... I can’t believe you!” Sung yelled.

“It’ssss bussssinesssssss Ssssung.” Houskins said.

Sung shifted his gaze to the UDL and focused on one individual. “C, you’re staying with them.”

C stared with a blank screen. “...It’s my job Sung.”

“Enough talk!” Porca yelled into his megaphone. “Any of you surrender?”

There was silence, and the Havve Hogan began to walk forward. 

“Ah yessss...” Houskins began floating towards him. “Of coursssse the robot hassss more ssssensssse than the resssst of you.” Houskins and Havve met in the middle of the two groups. “Don’t worry, your dissssassssembly will be painlessssss. Any final wordssss with your new voicebox?” Houskins glared down at Havve with his giant eye

“FUCK YOU.” Havve grabbed his neck. “FUCK YOU.” He opened the panel. “FUCK Y-” Havve tore his voicebox out and holding it in his hand, punched Houskins as hard as he could in his pupil. Houskins fell onto the ground and screamed, his tentacles desperately trying to keep Havve away and cover his eye. Havve pulled his fist back and punched down into his eye again. The screaming continued as Havve’s fist quickly retracted and reinserted itself. And then the screaming and movement stopped as Havve stood over the mass of tentacles and blood, staring down both the UDL and Blooddrops. He then turned and ran back to the rest of TWRP

“WASTE ‘EM!” Porca yelled through his megaphone, and a rain of laser fire erupted from behind him. 

“shipshipshIPSHIPSHIP!!!” Sung yelled as he and the rest of ran to the ship as lasers hit the space they were in. The door lowered as they ran, and closed right after they were all in. The sound of lasers hitting the ship was constant

“Ship, divert all available power to shields!” Sung yelled as soon as they were inside.

“Shit, shit, what now?!?” Meouch yelled. “There’s a bajillion guys out there tryin’ to kill us!”

Phobos went to Havve, who was trying to close the hole in his neck. “Are you ok?” 

Havve pointed at Sung. 

“Sung, could you help Havve?” Phobos asked.

“Shit, yeah, of course.” Sung hurried to Havve’s aid, green smoke coming from his hand. He held it over Havve’s neck, and wires began to reconnect. “That was really badass what you did out there Havve.” 

Havve gave a thumbs up. After a few second, Sung closed the panel in Havve’s neck. “Sorry you don’t have a voice again.”

Havve shrugged it off.

“So, Doc, what’s the game plan here?” Meouch asked.

“Well, we may be outnumbered, but we may not be outgunned. Hope you don’t mind another surprise guys.” Sung said.

“I’ll take anything I can get right now.” Meouch said.

“What is it?” Phobos asked.

“I’ll show you. Ship, prepare the MFU!” Sung yelled. There was the sound of mechanical whirring below them. “Follow me.”

Sung led them to the cargo bay, which was significantly more crowded now. It was now obvious why everything was pushed to the edge of the room. Where there was nothing before, there was now a miniature stage, with two additional steps on top of it, with two amps on the middle step, and drum set on the top step. Most notably however, was that this stage was on treads.

Sung stepped in front of everyone and turned to face them. “I call it the Mobile Fun Unit.”


	6. The Device Pt 2

The sound of laser fire hitting the outside of the ship sounded like a storm beating against it.

“Ok? How’s this thing help us?” Meouch asked.

“You see Commander, I always thought that there would be an epic battle of legendary proportions between us, and the armies of Boredom.” Sung began. “Just four friends against a legion of evil!”

The ship shook from an especially good shot and the lights flickered for a moment.

“Yeah, you wanna be epic, I get it, but please get to the point man!” Meouch said. “We’re about to die in here!”

“Great point.” Sung agreed. “I knew eventually we would be outnumbered, so I made this to amplify our musical fighting prowess. This thing could rip someone's face from their skull!”

“Rad.” Phobos said.

The ship rumbled from the damage it was taking.

“I fear we may not have a chance to get outside. The Mobile Fun Unit has some shields, but not enough to protect us from the current volley.” Sung said.

“We’re still in a ship, why don’t we fly and land away from them?” Phobos asked.

“We’d have to lower our shields to get enough power to fly, we’d be blown out the sky.” Sung explained. “And I assume they would follow us there, giving us the same problem.”

Havve raised his hand.

“What’s your idea buddy?” Sung asked him.

Havve pointed two finger guns, and shot Sung.

“Oh yeah, this ship has cannons right?” Meouch asked.

“You think you can cause enough chaos for us to get out there?” Sung asked him.

Havve tilted his head and crossed his arms.

“Yeah dumb question. We’ll be waiting for you!” Sung said, and Havve ran out of the room. “Alright you two, grab your instruments, and be back down here as soon as you can.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Havve climbed a ladder into a small circular room, and took a seat in the only chair in there. He was in darkness, except for the glow of a red button. He pressed it, and the light began pouring in. He was in a glass dome, being pushed out the top of the ship. Outside of the dome were two cannons that pointed up. When he looked up, he saw countless laser bolts passing overhead. He looked at the controls in front of him, two levers that had a button on top of them, and grabbed them. Once he was out the top of the ship, the two cannons pointed forward. His glass dome had a view of almost pure red, as laser after laser peppered it. He moved levers, and he and the cannons moved with it. In between laser blasts, he saw Porca still in front of the pack, and aimed towards him, ready to fire. Then he saw Porca laugh, and grab and pull C close to him. Havve yanked the cannons away from that direction, pointing towards the Blooddrops side. He saw a couple cars close to each other, and picked that spot. He pressed the buttons on the top of the levers, and there was green glow that emanated from the cannons, and then-

*BWZHOW*

-two massive green lasers shot from the cannons, colliding with a Blooddrops’ car. There was a fireball that erupted in the middle of the battle field, and the laser fire hitting towards the ship ceased. Havve brought the turret back into the ship and rushed back to the cargo hold.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now atop the Mobile Fun Unit was Sung, Phobos, and Meouch, who had set up their instruments while Havve did his thing.

“So, Sung?” Phobos asked.

“What’s up m’lord?” Sung responded.

“What are we going to play when we get out there?”

Sung froze.

“Holy fuck, we don’t think things through.” Meouch said.

“No, it’s ok!” Sung jumped off the MFU, and began scrambling through the room, opening random boxes. “I was writing something that would become our hit song!” Sung opened another crate and leaned in. “Ah ha! I think I found it!” He came back out with a scrap of paper. “I think I only wrote the end.”

Sung jumped back up on the stage and showed off the scrap of paper.

“This isn’t the most helpful Sung.” Phobos said.

“What do you mean?” Sung asked.

The scrap of paper read:

  * Write beginning (DO SOON!!!!!)
  * Guitar solo
  * Babababababababa
  * Synth slow + drums
  * Words
  * ALL OUT
  * ooooooooooooooooooooooo yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaahhhhhhhhh
  * More wordz
  * Sting!



“Who the hell writes the end of a song first?” Meouch asked.

“Hey, I was inspired!” Sung defended. “And I wrote this song as more of a weapon than a song. Besides, you guys just have to follow along, me and Havve know our parts already. I already know we’ll do great!”

“That is not easy.” Phobos said.

From outside the ship, an explosion was heard.

“I think Havve did it! Battle stations!” Sung yelled, and turned around to face his synths. Meouch and Phobos put on their guitars, looked at each, and shrugged. A moment later, Havve came dashing into the room, and jumped on to the MFU, and sat behind his drums.

“Alright, Phobos, you’re up!” Sung yelled.

“No pressure.” Phobos responded.

The bay doors opened, and revealed the chaos happening outside. A stark contrast to the purple and pink landscape, an orange fireball burned in the middle of the panicked crowd. The treads on the Mobile Fun Unit activated, and began to wheel outside, just as Lord Phobos put his all into a guitar solo.

Everyone had their back turned to view how the explosion was being handled, but those who were left turned back around when they heard the rumble of treads and the even louder guitar solo being played.

“No way.” C said in awe. “He brought out the MFU.”

Sheriff Porca, who was standing right next to C, completely ignored her. “Rovons! What the hell is that thing?”

Rovons had been singed in the explosion, but looked unfazed. “Looks like some sorta shitty tank.”

“Well then let’s light it up!” Porca yelled. Behind him, one of his officers fell over.

The guitar solo came to an end, and Sung put his talkbox tube in his mouth, and started singing nonsense into it.

“ _ _Baa ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba Badiddy Oh my!”__ Sung sang, and saw C standing among the crowd.

“ _ _Baa ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba Oooo yeah!__ ” As Sung continued, C looked away from him.

“ _ _Baa ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba Badiddy Oh my!”__ The Mobile Fun unit rumbled closer to the mob in front of them.

“WHAT ARE YOU WAITIN’ FOR? SHOOT EM!!!” Rovons yelled to his gang, half of whom started feeling sick. Nevertheless, most of the Diamond Blooddrops raised their guns, and pulled the trigger.

“ _ _Baa ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba And Stop!__ ” The volley of lasers that were flying towards TWRP stopped in midair, and fizzled out. Some of the guns held exploded in their users hands.

The music stopped, leaving behind a soft synth solo.

Some of the UDL members looked at each other, and began to pile into their cop ships. Porca looked at this and growled, before getting into his own ship.

Havve added a beat to the synth solo, creating a buildup until Meouch and Phobos joined in on one word.

“ _ _Girl!__ ” An invisible force shot from the MFU, pushing the army back. C, who was getting into Porca’s ship, looked back. “ _ _Let me be your man!__ __Your man!__ ” Sung saw C getting into the ship. “ _ _Take my hand babe! Sweet honey!”__ Sung held his hand out to C. “ _ _Won’t you understand? Please baby!”__ She paused while she got into the car, and her screen briefly lit up with a green checkmark, before she quickly ducked into Porca’s ship.

“ _ _Yes you can girl! Sophisticated Mama!”__ Sung pumped his fist into the air, having regained an ally, and watched as Porca’s ship disappeared over the horizon.

“ _ _How’d you get so fine? Sexuuual!”__ The Mobile Fun Unit crawled forward, getting closer to the army of UDL and Diamond Blooddrops. Rovons turned around and saw his army thinning out, a more and more people fled the scene.

“ _ _Let’s have a good tiiiIIIiiiIIIiiime”__ TWRP was seemingly charging up something, and crackles of energy shot off the MFU. Rovons pulled out a knife and charged towards it.

“ _ _Yeeeaaah”__

Rovons jumped toward TWRP in an attempt to board the Mobile Fun Unit.

“ _ _Tonight”__

An invisible shock wave shot from the Mobile Fun Unit, hitting everything in front of it like a truck. TWRP had begun playing as hard and as loud as they could. In the middle of his jump, Rovons was pushed backwards and shoved into the ground, leaving a trail behind him.

“ _ _Ooooooooooooooh yeeeeeeeeaaaaaahhh”__

Any laser fired towards TWRP from the army immediately stopped as it came out the barrel of the gun and fizzled out. Those who weren’t knocked over, had their feet pushed into the ground.

“ _ _Ooooooooooooooh yeeeeeeeeaaaaaahhh”__

The remaining ships that were left began to explode into a fireball of color. Everyone continued to be pushed back by the pure music.

“ _ _Ooooooooooooooh yeeeeeeeeaaaaaahhh”__

Rovons was shoved further into the ditch that had been created around him, and began to get a massive headache.

“ _ _When I first saw yooooouuuu”__

An UDL officer’s head exploded, leaving behind a purple mist that dissipated quickly.

“ _ _Oooh girl, I kneeeew Oooooh yeeeeeaaah.”__

The head exploding spread throughout the crowd of UDL and Blooddrops. Rovons strained and lifted himself out the ditch and stood.

“ _ _That you were the only one”__

Rovons reached his hand out towards the Mobile Fun Unit, and as he did, it turned skeletal.

“ _ _Yes, you were the only lady for meeeeeeeeee”__

Those who hadn’t had their head exploded, began to turn into skeletons. Rovons took a slow step forward.

__“Oooooooooooooh”_ _

The skeletons left behind began to be turned to dust. Rovons took another step forward, his whole arm turned to bone.

“ _ _Let's have a good tiiiIIIiiiIIIiiiIIIiiime”__

Rovons froze as he turned into a full skeleton.

“ _ _Yeeeeeaaaahhh Tonight!”__ There was one final sting from everyone’s instruments, and then there was the silence of a deserted moon.

Doctor Sung, Commander Meouch, and Lord Phobos looked at the battlefield, and all said the same thing.

“Holy shit!”

Everyone came together in the center of the MFU and hugged.

“Oh my god, guys I thought we were goin’ to die honestly!” Meouch yelled.

“Me too!” Phobos yelled back.

“But we didn’t! We rocked!” Sung yelled in response.

Havve squeezed the group, and everyone laughed.

“We kicked ass!” Meouch yelled before breaking from the hug. “I’ve never played so hard before! We-” Meouch looked in the front of the MFU. “Uhh, hey should we check out Rovons?”

Everyone walked to the front of the stage, and saw that Rovons skeleton was still standing, but seemed to be leaking.

“Huh. Yeah sure.” Sung said and hopped off the stage, and everyone else followed. As they got closer, they saw that there was a purple liquid leaking from every hole in his skull.

“Wow, that’s fucked.” Meouch said.

“Sure is.” Sung agreed. “What do you think Havve?”

Havve stared at the liquid for a moment, and then broke off one of Rovons’ fingers. He touched it to the liquid, and then to the ground. When it touched the ground, it began to burn. Havve stamped it out quickly.

“Well. That looked... familiar.” Phobos said.

“Yeah.” Meouch agreed.

“So this guy had this much pure Boredom in his skull, I don’t know how he survived that.” Sung said.

Havve tapped Sung’s shoulder, and then pointed to the ship.

“Yeah, let’s worry about that later. For now, we must find, The Device!” Sung announced.

Havve got Sung’s attention again, and held his hands apart and made it look like he was holding a cylinder, which he stroked up and down, and then grabbed the top of the cylinder, and pulled up on it.

“Excuse me?” Meouch asked after seeing Havve.

“I nearly forgot, Havve was reminding me of the container I made for The Device, since I doubt we will be actually able to touch it.” Sung explained.

“Oh good, had me worried for a sec.” Meouch said.

“Well I’lll go get it, you and Phobos wanna guard the ship?” Sung asked.

“Sure.” Phobos said.

“We’ll get right on it boss.” Meouch said.

“Havve you wanna bring the Fun Unit back in?” Sung asked.

Havve nodded and boarded the MFU, and it slowly began rolling towards the ship. Everyone else was able to beat it back to the ship by walking. Sung walked inside, and Meouch and Phobos stood next to the hull door, watching the horizon.

“Soooooo, how ya doin bud?” Meouch asked Phobos.

“You’ve been with me all day.” Phobos said.

“Yeah well, been a big day y’know?” Meouch said.

“Indeed.”

“Well, uh, anything you wanna talk about?”

Phobos thought for a moment. “What do you think about Sung’s plans?”

“What do ya mean?”

“Doctor Sung is going to use The Device to gain unlimited power. That’s alot of...” Phobos struggled to find a word. “...power.”

“Oh yeah. I haven’t really thought about it.” Meouch watched Havve bring the MFU into the ship.

“You think he can be trusted with it?”

“Yeah.”

Phobos looked over in surprise. “Really? Just like that?”

“Well listen, the guy has put a roof over our heads and given us food to eat. That’s pretty good in my opinion. ‘Sides, if he hadn’t come along, one of us would probably be dead, instead of the charming duo we are now.”

“We do make a good team.” Phobos admitted.

“Yeah, I can see it now, Phobs and Meouch! Fightin’ baddies the galaxy over!”

Phobos laughed. “I assume Havve and Sung will be there?”

“Nah, they get a spin off.” Meouch said.

“Where is Doctor Sung?” A voice asked.

Meouch and Phobos jumped and saw that the two figures from earlier reappeared.

“Ghuh!” Phobos yelled.

“Jeez! You just pop up like that?” Meouch asked them.

“Yes. Where is Doctor Sung?” The figures asked.

“Why?” Phobos asked.

“There are two others about to take The Device.”

“What? Who?” Meouch asked.

“Sheriff Porca and Computer Wife.” They said.

A sword popped out between Meouch and Phobos.

“Oh hey guys! Here to lead us to The Device?” Sung walked out the ship with Havve, holding Phobos’ sword and a large glass cylinder in his hands. “Figured you might want this if things get hairy.” Sung gave the sword to Phobos, who sheathed it on his back.

“Yes.” The robot bikers began walking away.

“Well, guess we better keep up!” Sung said, and hurried to catch up with them, with Havve a few steps behind. Phobos and Meouch shrugged and followed behind.

After an hour of walking, everyone saw a beacon of blue light on the horizon.

“Well, I assume that’s it?” Phobos asked.

“Yeah probably. If it’s not, I’m turnin around and grabbing the ship.” Meouch said.

“That would be unwise.” The robots said. “You can only find The Device if lead by one of its guardians.”

“So how’d C and P make it then?” Meouch asked.

“Ask the doctor.” The robots sounded significantly annoyed.

“Aw well, I always suspected it, but never got to confirm it...” Sung started. “...that C used to be a guardian of The Device. I guess she remembered that part of herself.”

“So what could she be doing?” Phobos asked.

“Messing things up.” The robots responded.

“Hey... you guys aren’t mad at me are you?” Sung asked.

The robots turned and looked at him. “Doctor Sung, while you are a noble man, you keep messing with things that you shouldn’t. And now you have somehow infected a moon that has been uninhabited for billions of years with people and Boredom.”

“Wait, Boredom?” Sung asked.

“You’ll see.” The robots said. “Now, approach cautiously, we will let you deal with this.”

“Yup, no pressure!” Sung put down the container and walked ahead and walked ahead.

TWRP walked forward, and saw a glowing cylinder floating off the ground, with blue lightning shooting off of it. Behind it was Porca’s armored UDL ship, and in front of it was Porca and C. C’s screen was lit up with lines of green text scrolling down it. Porca was typing on something that had wires connected to C. A considerable amount of the lightning from The Device was going to C.

“Oh uh, hey guys?” Sung said.

“Goddamnit!” Porca yelled and hit his keyboard. C raised her hand towards Sung, and a blue laser shot out of it. Sung dodged out the way, as the laser whizzed by him. Phobos unsheathed his sword, Havve pulled out a knife, and Meouch drew a pistol from his vest.

“Woah! Woah! Woah!” Sung yelled. “Everyone calm down!”

Porca pulled out his gun. “This artifact has been claimed by the UDL, and you are criminals anyways!”

“Dude, why do you want this anyways!” Meouch yelled.

“Same reason you do anything, money.” Porca flashed a nasty grin.

“Wait, how’re you getting money from this?” Sung asked.

“Someone’s payin’ for it dumbass. They offered more if you got killed too.” Porca shot at Sung, who dodged the laser fire.

“Havve?” Sung yelled, and Havve began running towards Porca. He ran past C, who raised her hand at his back as it began to glow blue.

“NO!” Phobos screamed, and his sword hot with righteousness, sliced C’s hand off. Meouch ran behind her and held her other hand down. Havve quickly disarmed Porca, and was busy keeping him subdued, which would have been easier if Porca wasn’t significantly larger than him. Sung made his way to Porca’s keyboard and tried to analyze what was happening. Meouch kept C hand pointed at the ground, but she fired anyways, and the laser went straight through the ground. Phobos kept her from advancing towards Sung.

“Hey, Sung, hurry it up please!” Meouch yelled, struggling against C’s robotic strength.

“I’m trying!” Sung got closer, and looked at the text passing through C’s screen.

“Leave that alone!” Porca yelled, broke free of Havve’s grip, and charged Sung. He tackled him to the ground, and Sung lost the keyboard. Sung saw Havve run towards him and yelled.

“Get the keyboard! Figure out what’s happening!” Sung said as he took a punch from Porca. Porca was on top of him, and landed blow after blow on Sung.

Havve picked up the keyboard, and looked at C’s screen. C managed a step forward and Havve jumped back, as Phobos and Meouch struggled to hold her back.

Sung’s vision faded in and out as he took punches from Porca. He struggled to do anything back due to Porca’s sheer weight. In between blows, he looked to the side, and saw the blue lightning coming off The Device. He stuck his hand out, and a blue bolt of lightning struck it.

Doctor Sung had never felt so energized in his billions of years of life. He pulled his hand back, and with amazing speed, grabbed the fists coming towards him, and was able to throw Porca off of him with ease, who landed a good distance away. He then rushed over to C, and began reading the lines of data, and he was able to understand what was happening. He took the keyboard from Havve, and began typing away, and the text disappeared from C’s screen. Sung felt the energy leaving him and him slowing down, but he kept working.

“Phobos, get ready to cut the wires.” Sung said and Phobos nodded in response.

A laugh echoed from C and then a logo appeared on her screen. It was a spiky letter B inside of a diamond. As the laughter stopped, a voice that was not C’s spoke.

“Doctor Sung, we finally speak, though not for long. I have already collected all the data necessary to continue the spread of Boredom throughout the universe, and there is nothing you can do to stop me! You may continue to be an inconvenience in my schemes, but I will ensure that Boredom will infect the psyches of the masses! I have already begun my assault on a planet you will never be able to save!” The voice laughed and faded away, along with the logo. As it did C, stopped fighting against Phobos and Meouch.

“Phobos, cut the wires.” Sung said.

Phobos let go off C hesitantly, and then took a step back, and swung his sword through the wires connecting the keyboard to C. As he did, Sung smashed the keyboard over his knee. The lightning from The Device stopped flowing into her.

C held up the arm that used to have a hand attached to it in front of her screen.

“Ow.” C said in her own voice.

Sung ran and gave her a hug.

“Whoa, ok! Hello Sung.” C looked to her side and saw Meouch holding her arm. “You can let go of me now Commander.” She looked back down at Sung. “You as well Doctor.”

Sung let go and looked at C. “I’m just glad you’re alright! Thought something bad might happen.” He bent down, and started the process of reattaching her hand.

“I’m alright. But I am going to kill Porca if you didn’t already.” C said.

“Uh, he’ll probably be back soon.” Sung looked off into the distance.

“Doctor Sung.” The two robots popped back up. “This is yours.” One of them handed Sung the container you brought.

“Oh thank you ladies!” Sung said.

“So, I’m one of you?” C asked the robots.

“Yes, however you malfunctioned and ended up somewhere off planet about 5 billion years ago.” They explained. “The rest have also been lost to time, we are the only two left.” They looked over at The Device. “Truthfully, now that someone is taking The Device, we are not sure what we will do now.”

“Well, from one robot to another.” C said. “Would you like to help me clean up the UDL? I’m sure most of the trash has been taken out today by these guys.”

“You’re welcome.” Meouch said.

“Hm. A new purpose, helping out the universe.” The pair of robots looked at each other. “This sounds pleasant, and would be better than staying on this moon in next coming minutes.” They said this and got into Porca’s ship, leaving the driver’s seat empty.

“Well, that’s ominous.” Sung said.

“That is our queue to leave soon.” Phobos said. “Let’s hurry.”

C began walking towards her new ship. “Oh yeah, as the new head of the Universal Law Department, here’s an official pardon. Don’t get into any more trouble.”

“Aw, y’know me C, that’s not gonna happen.” Sung said.

“Do not let me find out about anything you’re doing then.” C said, and sat in the driver's seat. Her screen lit up with a hand that waved back and forth. “Goodbye, and safe travels!” C said, before she flew off with the two guardians.

“Hey, I assume this went better than the last time she left you?” Meouch joked.

“Oh definitely. I kept finding poison in my food for weeks.” Sung said, holding his container. He unscrewed the cap of it. “Well guys, wish me luck!” Sung said, and he scooped the Device up, and screwed the lid back on.

“EYYYYYYYY!!!” Everyone yelled, and Havve clapped.

“Well, let’s get movin’, shall we?” Sung said, with the Device safely contained in his hands.

“No, you shouldn’t.” A voice said. Everyone looked and saw Sheriff Porca limping back too where his ship used to be. “You haven’t won yet. He said to use this if things got this bad.” Porca pulled out a cracked jar that had had alot of purple waves swimming in it.

“Oh, funk.” Meouch said.

“Run. Run now.” Phobos said, beginning to edge away from the area they were in.

“Good idea.” Sung agreed.

TWRP began to run as fast as they could back to their ship, and as they did, they heard the shattering of glass, and then the roar of fire. Havve led the group, his metal legs propelling him faster with each step. Meouch looked behind him, and saw a wall of purple red flame closing in on them. Sung struggled to run as fast as he usually did, carrying the huge glass tube, careful not to shake it too hard, as The Device floated gently inside. Phobos ran straight ahead, determined to escape the flames of Boredom once again.

Havve reached the ship first, and threw the door open, and Sung ran in as soon as he could. He was followed closely by Phobos and Meouch, and Havve pulled the door closed behind them. Sung put The Device down as quickly and as gently as he could, and threw himself into the pilots seat, green smoke coming from his hands. Phobos sat himself in the other pilot’s seat, and began flicking switches, preparing for takeoff. He looked out the windshield for a fraction of a second, and saw the fire approaching, engulfing everything it touched. Havve came between him and Sung, and did his part to get the ship off the ground. Meouch saw The Device, and as the ship rumbled to life, begin to fall over. He ran over and grabbed it before the glass container shattered on the ground. He felt the ground shift beneath him, and stumbled with The Device in hand to strap himself into his seat. Meouch looked out past his friends, and saw that fire was mere feet away.

There was a click, and the ship threw itself into the air, just when the fire began licking the edges of it. It turned and flew straight into the sky, flying through the clouds until it was in space, with the burning planet far behind it. Everyone was silent, exhausted from what just happened. Havve slowly turned around, and sat down in the remaining seat.

“Woooooooooo, jeez.” Sung said, slumped into his chair. “I gotta admit, that was a close one. Everyone alright?”

Phobos and Meouch groaned, and Havve gave a shaky thumbs up.

“Alright, everyone go get some rest, we got a busy day tomorrow.” Sung said. “Probably start by throwing the rest of the Boredom into a sun.”


	7. Prismatic Core

“So, how we doin’ this?” Meouch asked. TWRP stood in the cargo room, with Meouch’s corrupted funk gathered in the middle room.

“Well, this is a defunct system isn’t it?” Phobos asked.

“Yeah, this is probably the best place to leave it, isn’t it?” Sung said. “No one is coming by anytime soon.”

Havve nodded.

“So we just throw it in the air lock?” Meouch asked.

“Pretty much. Let’s get lifting everyone!” Sung said and then lifted a crate of Boredom, followed by Havve close behind, a crate in his hands. Phobos looked at Meouch.

“You didn’t carry these in, did you?” He asked.

“Oh god no.” Meouch answered. He walked to the side of one of the crates. “These things got Lev-pads on them.” He reached in and pulled out a remote, pressed a button, and then the crates started floating. “You just have to push.” He got behind two crates, and pushed them leisurely, with Phobos following behind him. Eventually the crates of Boredom were piled up in the airlock.

“Alright, Havve, you wanna pull us just a little closer to the sun?” Sung asked, and Havve nodded, and then gestured towards Meouch.

“Oh sure, I’ll come with bud.” Meouch said, and he and Havve walked up to the cockpit.

Phobos looked into the airlock. “So straight into the sun?” 

“Yeah, it might ruin this sun, but this system is already deserted, so hopefully minimum damage.” Sung said.

“There’s no possibility of it spreading?” Phobos asked.

“None at all. Even if it over takes this sun, the gravity will keep it trapped there.” Sung explained.

“Good to hear.”

“Yeah, ready to get rid of it?”

“Absolutely.”

Sung looked towards the camera. “You guys ready?”

“Sure are Doc.” Meouch’s voice came over the PA. 

“Alright, well count it down!” Sung turned to face the airlock.

“Ok...” Meouch began counting down. “5... 4... 3... 2-” The airlock opened suddenly, and Sung jumped back. Phobos looked completely unphased.

Sung looked up to the camera in the room. “Oooooh, you guys! You got me!” Sung wagged his finger at the camera, and then looked at Phobos.

“...You really didn’t see that coming?” Phobos asked.

“I kinda forgot I did it the first time honestly.” Sung answered.

“Alright guys...” Meouch came in over the PA again. “You wanna come up and see what’s happening?”

“Sure do! C’mon Phobs!” Sung left to go to the cockpit, and Phobos followed somewhat hesitantly behind.

Sung and Phobos entered to see Havve and Meouch high fiving. Behind them, through the windshield was pure fire, the sun that occupied this system, and floating gently towards it were some crates.

“Gotcha!” Meouch pointed at Sung. Havve pointed too and his shoulders bobbed up and down.

“Yeah, yeah...” Sung approached closer to get a better view outside. “Not my man Phobos though!”

Meouch looked back at Phobos and tapped his forehead. “Yeah, ol’ Phobs is too smart for us.”

“We all already knew that.” Phobos responded with a smile in his voice, and went to look outside too.

“Uh huh, screw you bud.” Meouch turned back and looked out the windshield. “So now we just wait?”

“Yeah, it should hit the sun in a couple minutes.” Sung looked at his wrist for a watch he didn’t have. “Guess we just hang until then.” Sung took a seat behind Meouch, and Phobos took one behind Havve.

“Sounds good to me.” Meouch put his hands behind his head and reclined in his chair. “So what’s goin’ on with you guys?”

Phobos fidgeted in his chair. “I would like to make an announcement.”

“Oh what’s up dude?” Meouch asked.

Phobos sat straight up in his chair. “I will be taking a vow of silence soon to honor my fallen planet.” He looked to Havve, who nodded. “Havve will help me learn how to communicate silently until I have a sufficient understanding.”

“Oh Phobos, that seems like a great idea.” Sung said supportively. “Do you need anything from us?”

“Nothing more than everything you’ve given me.” Phobos responded.

“Well hey, we’re here for support bud.” Meouch said.

“That’s all I could ask for.” Phobos said.

“How about you Havve, you got any bombshells?” Meouch asked.

Havve tapped his neck.

“Oh yeah, how’re you feeling Havve?” Sung asked.

Havve shrugged.

“It doesn’t hurt or anything?” Sung asked.

Havve nodded his head no.

Sung sighed in relief. “Oh I’m glad. I kinda rushed that repair.” 

“Dude, that was really badass though.” Meouch said. “Definitely the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“It was indeed a noble sacrifice.” Phobos commented.

Havve put one hand on his face like he was blushing, and waved his other at the group.

“So do you think you want to go out and find another voicebox?” Sung asked.

Havve shook his head no, and then pointed at Sung.

“Fair, I’m sure I can whip something up for you.” Sung responded.

“Oh dude, can you make me something?” Meouch asked jokingly. “I’m the only one here without any cool headgear!”

“Oh yeah, I’ll get one making you a pylon too.” Sung chuckled.

“Me too?” Phobos asked.

“Sure thing!” Sung answered.

Havve raised his hand.

“I could probably build one right into your frame honestly.”

Havve pumped his fist.

“I’ll take some of that Device power while we’re at it.” Meouch joked.

“Sorry, I’m trademarking that one for myself.” Sung answered. “Patent pending.”

“So, how’s that going to work?” Phobos pointed at hole in Sung’s armor. “The surgery.”

“Oh well, you guys don’t need to worry, Havve and a couple machines are going to take care of it. But basically what will happen is that I’ll have a hole put in my chest, put in the casing, and then The Device.” Sung explained.

“Oh, that easy huh?” Meouch asked sarcastically.

“You really want to go through with this?” Phobos asked. “That sounds really risky.”

“Yeah, but...” Sung looked back out the windshield, the crates of boredom inching closer to the sun. “I’ve spent most of my existence now hoping of this, dreaming for this moment. I can’t back down now.”

Phobos put a hand on Sung’s shoulder. “Well, we are here for you Sung.” Havve and Meouch nodded in agreement.

“Aw... thanks guys.” Sung said. “It means alot.”

“Hey man, I would’ve been dead if not for you.” Meouch said. “I gotta stick around now.”

“And I would be without a purpose, I’m glad you came along Doctor.” Phobos said.

“Oh stop it, it wasn’t anything much.” Sung said.

Havve turned off his eye lights, and pretended to power down, then pointed at Sung, and pretended to boot up.

“Aw well, maybe I have made a difference.” Sung scratched the back of his head.

Meouch stood out of his seat and raised his hand like he had a drink. “To Doctor Sung! The best guy I know!” He and Phobos cheered and Havve clapped.

“Thank you, thank you, but hey...” Sung began. “I wouldn’t be here without my friends, and I’m glad we are.”

Meouch glanced out the windshield. “Oh hey, the crates look pretty close, you guys wanna see?”

Everyone gathered behind the console to get a closer look at the crates travelling towards the sun. They began being pulled faster and faster as the sun’s gravity pulled them closer and closer, until they finally disappeared under the surface. Slowly the sun’s orange glow turned dark and a purple flame slowly replaced it.

“Is that going to be an issue?” Phobos asked.

“Ehh, probably not, but let’s get out of here anyways.” Sung said, and he took his seat in the pilot’s chair. “Meouch, you haven’t flown, wanna give it a go?”

“Why not?” Meouch sat back down in the co-pilots chair, while Havve and Phobos seated themselves behind them. “Where we headed?”

“Just a few systems away from here. Somewhere quiet but not abandoned.” Sung said.

“My favorite sorta place.” Meouch responded. With a few lever pulls, the ship was moving quickly throughout solar systems, leaving a ruined one behind. The ship slowed to a halt in front of a much more normal Sun.

“Well, you guys ready?” Sung asked.

“We’re not the ones gettin’ an ancient treasure put in our chest.” Meouch said.

“Are you sure you want to go through with this?” Phobos asked with concern in his voice.

“Absolutely. It’s practically my destiny at this point.” Sung said with a tone of determination in his voice.

Havve put his hand on Sung’s shoulder and raised a thumbs up as a question.

“Yeah, I’m ready Havve. Let’s go do this thing.” Sung led the way down into the surgery room.

The white fluorescent lights flickered on and revealed that the room was different than when it was last used. There were now numerous machines and computers surrounding the center table Havve was given his voicebox on. Some of the machines reached over the operating table, and suspended in the center of them, was the container holding The Device. Sung walked toward the table and put his hand on it.

“Havve, you know what to do already, right?” Sung asked, and Havve nodded in response.

“Alright, well, I’m ready then.” Sung hopped on the table and layed down, and as soon as he did, numerous machines sprang to life and began scanning him, and numbers and lines started popping up on the various computer screens, while some others began to beep. Havve walked over, and looked down at Sung lying on the operating table. Sung gave Havve a thumbs up. Ater a moment, Havve reached up and grabbed a mask, and put it over Sung’s mouth. 

“Is... is he asleep?” Meouch asked. “Can’t really tell with the visor on.”

Havve slapped Sung’s face a couple times and the gave Meouch a thumbs up.

“Do you need any help Havve?” Phobos asked.

Havve shrugged, pointed at his eyes, then at Phobos and Meouch, and then at Sung.

“Stay and watch, got it.” Meouch said, and then looked for something to sit on.

Havve looked back down at Sung and grabbed a marker. He drew a circle on the inside of his armor where the hole was, where the Device would be placed. Havve then grabbed an assortment of needles, and after examining them, began injecting Sung with them. One of the computers began to beep a lot slower than it was previously. 

Meouch was sitting on an expensive piece of equipment. “Is that ok?” 

Havve brushed him off and continued his work. He injected one last shot into Sung into the center of his chest, where the hole in his armor was. He threw the syringe away and then reached above for a tube that was wired to the above machines. He looked towards Phobos and Meouch and covered his eyes.

“Is this gonna be gross?” Meouch asked. 

Havve nodded yes.

“What’re you doing now?” Phobos asked.

Havve drew a circle in the center of his chest with his finger, then put his hands around that circle, and pushed straight out away from his body.

“Wow. You’re removing all of that?” Phobos asked, and Havve nodded in response.

He lined up the tube with the circle he drew, and turned it on. A small laser shot from it and into Sung. It cleanly pierced his chest, and Havve slowly moved the laser along the circle he drew. When he finally completed the circle, Havve turned off the laser and let it go, retracting above him next to a variety of other tools. He looked up and next to where The Device was suspended, was a similar glass container, which had a large grey tube attached to the top of it, and the bottom open.

“Alright, I’m turnin’ around, this is gross.” Meouch said as he got up and faced the wall. “Lemme know when it’s over ‘ey Phobs?”

“Will do.” Phobos said.

Havve brought the empty glass container down and placed it over Sung’s chest. Then a sound like a vacuum cleaner filled the room, as it powered on. Slowly, the circle that Havve cut in Sung’s chest turned into a cylinder as it was slowly pulled into the glass cylinder. Phobos watched for a moment before turning around too.

“Alright Havve, you tell us when this part is over.” Phobos said as he leaned his head against the wall.

Havve didn’t respond, and just watched as the cylinder was sucked out of Sung’s chest. He would be fine for now, but would need something to keep him alive soon. The cylinder was pulled fully in, and the container closed itself shut as the vacuum noise faded out. Instead of falling against the bottom of the container, the cylinder was kept suspended, much like The Device in its container. Havve pushed the container back up to its original spot suspended above him and then clapped to get Phobos and Meouch’s attention.

Phobos turned around and saw that, yes, it was over, but there was still a container holding a cylinder of meat suspended in the air and still very visible. “Hey, Me-”

“Oh, Gross!” Meouch already turned around and saw. “It looks like if you made a sandwich out of a guy!”

“Yeah, it’s not great.” Phobos looked to Havve. “What’s he want to do with it?”

Havve shrugged.

“God, I hope it goes out the airlock.” Meouch butted in. “Looks like a peeled di-”

“Meouch!” Phobos yelled to cut him off.

Meouch began chuckling at his own joke. “What? It does! Like if you poured red chili into a test tube.”

Phobos snickered, but then returned his attention to Havve, who stood above Sung, unfazed. “So what now?”

Havve pointed toward The Device.

“Really is that easy huh?” Meouch joked.

“Hopefully it is.” Phobos said. He and Meouch got closer to the operating table to see Havve continue his work.

Similarly to what he had just done, he brought the container with The Device down to Sung’s chest, and the bottom opened up. The Device began to slowly float down, it’s blue lightning hitting the sides of its glass container. An automated voice came on over the ship’s speakers.

“Prismatic Core Online”

One by one, the various computers and monitors began lighting up and sounding alarms, and the fluorescent white of the room changed to a dark red. Havve darted between various computers, tackling problems that arose swiftly, but for every one he solved, two more would take his place. The Device continued its descent, beginning to pass through Sung’s armor. Phobos and Meouch asked how they could help, but Havve didn’t have time to respond. The Device began entering Sung’s chest, and his pylon lit up. Havve was relieved for a moment, before all the monitors and computers that were connected to Sung exploded. The Device was about half way into Sung’s chest, and had started shooting blue lightning throughout the room. Havve abandoned all the computers and tore into the cabinet on the wall behind the operating table. He threw open draws and cleared off shelves until he found what he was looking for. He grabbed what looked like a plastic disc and threw it to Meouch. He caught it and looked puzzled until he realized what it was, and hurriedly put it on the side of his head. Just as he got it on, Havve ran to him and Phobos, grabbed their hands, and practically dragged them out the room. They ran up stairs and through the halls of the ship, all now bathed in an eerie red light, to where Havve was leading them; the airlock. He hammered at the control pad until the door opened, and he threw his bandmates and himself in.

“Lemme turn this on first!” Meouch yelled, and he pressed the side of what Havve threw him, and a shield appeared over his face and then disappeared. Just as soon as he did, the automated voice came back on.

“Must construct additional Pylons”

Havve grabbed Phobos’ hand, and made Meouch grab Phobos’ other hand, and slammed the eject button. Faster than they could blink, they were thrown into space, looking at their ship in the distance, which was now illuminated by a blue light. Moments later, the blue light stopped for an instant, and then there was an explosion of it. The ship was torn apart, leaving only one thing in its wake. In the middle of the debris was Sung, who looked unmoved, besides his missing pylon, and now hand a line of blue light shooting through him, going for as long as anyone could see. 

Havve, Meouch, and Phobos were in awe for a moment, and could only stare at what could almost be described as beautiful. Havve broke out of this trance first, and tapped Phobos to get his attention, and then pointed at Sung. Phobos nodded, made sure his grip on Meouch and Havve was tight, and activated his jetpack and flew towards Sung. It took a minute to reach him, and there was nothing to do but look around. There were parts of the control console, the remains of the Mobile Fun Unit, and surprisingly, an intact Time Crystal, but without any way to use it. In the middle of it all was Doctor Sung, unconscious, and with a line that divided the universe. Havve looked over him, and underneath the beam of energy shooting off into the void, The Device had been nearly fully set in his chest, and just need to go in a little more to finish the surgery. Havve looked at his friend's face, and another issue immediately obvious: Sung was missing his pylon, his power dampener. But despite everything, he was still alive. Maybe it was because he was a billions of years old alien, maybe it was because this was his destiny, but even with the most powerful object in the universe expelling all of that energy through his body, Doctor Sung was alive.

They needed a plan. Havve had let go of Phobos and was holding onto Sung, who was now fixed in place by The Device. He needed to fully set The Device into Sung’s chest, but to do that, they would need to get Sung’s cone to dampen its power. 

*CRACK*

Audible even in the vast expanse of space was a bolt of lightning that came off of the beam coming from The Device. Havve looked up and down along the beam, and saw that various other bolts of lightning were striking off of it, each one just as audible as the last. The Device contained infinite energy, and somehow the beam that had come from it had already reached infinity, and now the remaining energy needed to go somewhere. Havve watched as the lightning lingered before fading away, each bolt staying longer than the last. Havve looked to Phobos, who was still holding on to Meouch. He made a triangle with his fingers and pointed to Sung’s head. Phobos nodded, and flew over to Sung, and left Meouch to hang off one of his legs. 

Phobos continued his flight, looking among the wreckage of their ship for Sung’s pylon. He searched among the remains of what he considered his new home. Most of what was left was unrecognizable, but he had lived inside these shattered walls, and grown along with his friends within them. He had seen two planets destroyed by Boredom, and just a moment, watched his new home explode with one of his new friends in it. But just as always, Lord Phobos would survive, and this time, his friends would too. Propelled by his jetpack, he looked for an answer.

Havve continued looking over at Sung, leaving Meouch to awkwardly hang off Sung’s leg. Out of all of his schemes, he never imagined anything like this would happen. He looked up at the beam of energy shooting from Sung, and then behind him at the sun. It was definitely a cool way to die. Wasn’t like he had anyone who would miss him, anyways. Besides maybe Eddi. And well, these guys were pretty cool. He’d miss them. Meouch stopped daydreaming and shook himself back to reality, and took a look at Sung. The Device wasn’t in right, so they just needed something to put it in right? He reached out and grabbed a piece of debris from the ship. He put it in the beam, and the moment it touched it, disintegrated any part of it that was in the beam. He pulled it back out, and had a piece of debris that looked like it had a bite taken out of it. Havve gave him a look that said “WHY” and Meouch shrugged in return. Meouch threw away the debris and started thinking. They would just need something stronger to push The Device down with.

Phobos flew through the wreckage, and out of the corner of his eye, saw something orange in the distance. It was spiraling throughout the cosmos, like it had been shot from a cannon. Phobos began flying to it when-

*CRACK*

-a bolt of lightning from The Device struck right in front of Phobos. But it didn’t fade away, it stayed, a bolt of pure energy suspended in space. Phobos went around it, but it seemed to be growing. As Phobos flew, he heard more cracks of lightning behind him, but stayed focused on his task. He reached out and grabbed it, and then examined it. Sung’s pylon looked fine, but something definitely went wrong with it. Phobos turned back around to fly back to his friends, and then realized what all those cracks meant. Bolts of blue lightning had filled the sky, and were growing, the infinite energy of The Device beginning to fill out the universe. Phobos navigated through them, until he heard another crack. A bolt struck Phobos’ jetpack, causing it to cut out for a moment, before coming back with excess power, shooting Phobos forward. He couldn’t control his jetpacks propulsion, only what direction it would take him. Gripping on to the pylon, he narrowly flew between growing bolts of energy until he was above his friends. It would take a while for this excess energy to wear off, so he threw the pylon down as hard as he could.

Meouch and Havve watched as Phobos sailed overhead, and then Sung’s pylon as it floated down to them. Havve reached out and was able to grab it, as Phobos began circling overhead. Havve got to work with the pylon and checking it to make sure it was ok. The dampening system was intact, power level reader was there, even the in-built computer’s and reticles Sung put in were working. So, Havve began putting it back onto Sung’s head. It slid on fairly easily, although he had to shift it back and forth a couple times to get it to fit properly. Havve buckled the chin strap, and as soon as he did, the pylon began to light up. The beam of energy coming from The Device stopped creating lightning bolts, and the ones that were there finally started to fade away. Even Phobos’ jetpack began to slow down, letting him be able to join Havve and Meouch again. However even though it was slowly receding, the beam of energy was still shooting into the infinite cosmos, and they would all be dead before it fully receded. 

Meouch put another piece of debris in the beam in a futile attempt to push The Device back down, earning him looks from both Havve and Phobos this time. Meouch shrugged and grabbed another debris and put it in the beam. It didn’t work, of course, and Meouch looked for something else to use, and everyone saw it at the same time. The only thing to survive the explosion, the Time Crystal. Both Phobos and Meouch looked to Havve, who slowly nodded. Having regained control of his jetpack, Phobos flew over, and slowly pushed the Time Crystal over, and left it above Sung’s legs. Everyone put a hand on it, and took a look at each other, before they pushed the Time Crystal into the energy beam.

The Time Crystal didn’t disintegrate upon touching The Device’s energy. When it was placed over it, the Time Crystal refracted the energy, and split it into different directions, and the Time Crystal began to cycle through its colors, and while the sun stayed still behind them, all the planets and stars they could see began spinning faster and fast around them. As they pushed the Time Crystal down, the beams of energy began to die down, and so did the spinning of stars. They felt it press against The Device and pushed harder until it was in Sung’s chest, and everything stopped. They moved the Time Crystal out the way, and saw that The Device was in Sung’s chest, and his armor automatically covered it up with some sort of lid over it. But after that, nothing happened.

Phobos, Meouch and Havve all looked at each other. What went wrong? What could they do? They were stranded in the middle of space, with nothing they could do. Apparently, they couldn’t even save their friend. Havve grabbed one of Sung’s hands and laid it on his chest, and Meouch did the same with his other hand. They all placed their hands on Sung’s and shared this moment. 

After a few minutes, they brought their hands back and were ready to make a plan, but something was happening with Sung. They all saw a green smoke begin emanating from his hands, and while it wasn’t much at first, it grew exponentially into a green fog. It encompassed them, just as they saw Sung sit up. The pieces of the debris began moving and connecting to each other, as slowly, the ship rebuilt itself around them. They all let go of Sung as they familiar seats of the cockpit came back, as well as the well worn console. Even though the ship was forming around them, it was still made out of debris, and there were countless holes and cracks in between where the debris lined up. But despite this, the ship began moving at incredible speeds throughout space, with Sung seemingly guiding it. They passed by the stars that were spinning around them a moment ago, leaving the system, and dozens more, far behind. The stars began to blur into lines, and then strangely enough, turned into a plaid design. Despite this ludicrous speed, the ship was expertly navigated throughout the universe, without even a little bit of turbulence. Everyone marvelled at this beauty of flight until the ship began slowing down. The plaid designs turned back into white lines, and the white lines turned little white dots, but noticeably was the blue and green dot that now occupied the windshield. Meouch began tapping Sung to get his attention, and Havve and Phobos joined in to try and get him to realize what was happening. But nothing was able to shake Sung from the trance he was in, not even the blue and green dot that was inching closer and closer.

“Hey! Hey Doc!” Meouch yelled. Phobos and Havve stared at him. “Oh shit we can hear each other now. HEY SUNG WAKE UP WE’RE GOING TO HIT A PLANET!!!” Meouch tried shaking him, but Sung was fixed in place in his pilot's seat, the green smoke still coming from his hands and holding the ship together. The dot wasn’t a dot anymore, and they could start making out the features of it. Meouch turned to Havve. “Is it better or worse that we’re hitting land?”

Havve shook his hand back and forth. 

“Well get ready, here it comes!” Meouch yelled as he strapped himself into his seat, with Havve and Phobos following his lead. They saw the green and blue dot change into a landscape in their windshield, and soon, through the fires of atmospheric entry they saw that all the green was replaced with a sea of white. 

*CHOOM*

The ship did not hold together at all when it crash landed, and its passengers were thrown out like dolls in the new landscape. 

Havve was the first to recover, and was face down in the ground. He picked himself up and noticed that it was exceptionally cold, but it reminded him of something. He was in a snowy forest that was now littered with debris from an alien spaceship. He got up and began looking for his friends. As he stumbled about the first one he found was Meouch, who was lodged in a tree’s branches.

“Hey Hogan!” Meouch yelled from his tree. “You wanna catch me?”

Havve quickly shook his head no.

“C’mon bud, how else am I supposed to get down?” 

Havve walked up to the tree and kicked it.

“DIIIIIIIII-” Meouch was cut off by a large *FWUMP* as he fell into the snow. He got up and began wiping snow off of himself. “Alright jerk, let’s go find the others.”

They walked together, taking in their new surroundings until they found Phobos wondering through the forest. 

“I wasn’t sure if I should have waited to be found or not.” Phobos said.

“Well, we found ya!” Meouch said. “You see Doc anywhere?”

“Not yet.”

Havve started walking ahead already, and Phobos and Meouch ran to catch up. As they walked they eventually heard some rustling nearby and a distinct voice call out “Hey guys! Over here!”

They approached the voice, and in a small clearing sat a destroyed Mobile Fun Unit, and in front of that was Doctor Sung. He pointed at his chest, which now contained The Device, and made a face of pure joy.

He ran up to go hug his friends. “Guys! You did it! I can’t believe this!”

“Oh yeah, no big deal.” Meouch said sarcastically.

“How do you feel?” Phobos asked.

“Better than in billions of years!” Sung loosened his grip on his friends and looked up at them. “So uhh, why’d you guys crash us here?”

The hug disbanded immediately.

“Woah hey, YOU crashed us, Doc!” Meouch said.

Sung looked quizzically at him. “No? I was out the whole time? How could I have flown anything?” He looked to Havve, who put out his hands and moved them like he was doing magic tricks.

“Oh shit really?” Sung said in shock, and then looked at the mess. “Well, sorry about that then guys! Anything else happen while I was out?”

Phobos, Meouch, and Havve looked at each other and sighed. 

“We’ll tell you later.” Phobos said.

“Ominous. Well, Havve, you would never guess where we are right now!” Sung nudged Havve, who shrugged, not caring enough to guess. “We’re back on Earth!” Havve looked genuinely surprised, and Sung smiled at him. “No idea why I apparently brought us here but uh, it doesn’t look like we’re leaving anytime soon.”

“Well, fearless leader, you got any ideas?” Meouch asked.

“Yeah actually!” Sung happily responded. “I say we find a place of residence, maybe with a local, and make this our home base, depending on how much we like it.”

Everyone looked around at the snowy forest.

“Let’s see what else this world has to offer first.” Phobos said.

“However, I do believe there is a considerable amount of naturally occuring Boredom, sadness and oppression on this planet, so we must seek out and eliminate that before we leave!” Sung said.

“Ok, where do we start?” Phobos asked.

“Yeah, this heroic stuff is pretty alright.” Meouch added.

Havve stared at Sung to say something.

“Well, within the ruined MFU, I believe our instruments are still intact! So let’s grab those and get on our way!” Sung said, and began digging through the rubble of Mobile Fun Unit. They were able to find Phobos’ guitar, Meouch’s bass, Fuckthrust and the drum kit unharmed. Unfortunately, nothing else survived the trip, only mangled pieces of them remained.

“Well, this is all we’d be able to carry anyways.” Sung said. “Are you guys ready to go house hunting?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Meouch said.

“Alright, let’s go team!” Sung yelled with excitement, and began marching through the snowy forest.

“You know where we’re headed?” Meouch asked.

“No idea! But we’re headed this way!” Sung answered.

“Cool.” Meouch responded.

After walking in silence for a while longer, Phobos spoke up. “This is going to be our home base right?”

“For the foreseeable future, why?” Sung asked.

“Well, if we’re finally settling down a little, I would like to begin my vow of silence.” Phobos said.

“Oh, dude! Of course! Whenever you are ready to begin, we’ll be there to support you!” Sung said.

“Oh yeah, same here bud!” Meouch agreed.

Havve put his hand on Phobos’ shoulder and gave a thumbs up.

“Thank you guys... It might take a few days for me to properly begin, but I appreciate the support.” Phobos said, with a lot more emotion than usual. “Thank you.”

“Of course dude!” Sung said, and then stopped in his tracks. “Look! An abode! Let’s go introduce ourselves, shall we?”

“Let’s!” Meouch agreed, and followed him to the house. The house itself was in the middle of nowhere, and even though it was connected to a street, didn't seem like there was anyone that came that often. TWRP crossed the street out of the forest, walked up to the front door, and Sung knocked. A minute later, the door was answered by a tall guy with long dark hair, and some facial hair.

“Hello?” The guy said.

“Hi earthling! What is your name?” Sung said in a very patronising voice.

“Well online, people call me Lazerhorse, but my actual name is-”

“Oh, Lazerhorse, what a beautiful name! My name is Doctor Sung, and these are my best friends Commander Meouch, Lord Phobos, and Havve Hogan!”

Lazerhorse waved, and Phobos waved back.

“We have just crash landed on this planet, and as you can imagine, we need a place to stay, so you have the honor of having us stay with you!”

“Wait no-” Lazerhorse began, but TWRP barged past him into his house.

“Wow, pretty swanky place.” Meouch said.

“I know! It looks so small on the outside!” Sung agreed, and then looked at Lazerhorse, who was quietly freaking out. “Only problem is... where are you gonna stay Mr.Horse?”

“My house?” He said.

“Say!” Sung yelled. “You got a basement?”

“Yeah???” Lazerhorse unfortunately answered.

“Perfect! That takes care of that!” Sung gestured to Havve and then Lazerhorse. “Havve, will you please escort our new friend to his new room?” 

Havve picked up Lazerhorse in one arm, and walked away. A few minutes later, he returned.

“Did he like it?” Sung asked.

Havve gave two thumbs up and nodded his head.

“I’m glad!” Sung said.

“That guy is so generous!” Meouch said.

“Perhaps we can pay him back some way?” Phobos said.

“What if we let him work for us?” Meouch suggested.

“I think that is a great idea.” Sung said, and sat down on his new couch. “I think this is the beginning of something special guys.”

“How so?” Meouch sat next to him.

“Y’know, we’ve already done so much good.” Sung began. “Took out Boredom dealers, and the corrupt leader of the UDL, that’s pretty great. But now we get to make great change on a smaller scale!”

“Well, I look forward to working with you to clean up this planet.” Phobos said.

“Thanks, but we need some material to clean with!” Sung said. “But you know what? I think I have a great idea for an album.”


End file.
